jaymz_maiden
New Here
Hi everyone,
I am a 31yr old man who has been in a relationship with a 30yr old woman with PTSD for almost 3 months. I am hoping to hear from other men in relationships with PTSD women to gat a gauge of what it's like to be with them and what they can expect? I have found that my partner often has trouble making love or being physically intimate and there's a bit of work to do around breaking down this barrier for her, regardless of this, she is very comfortable with kissing, hugging and intimacy physically above the clothes. Emotionally she is pretty connected too, but sometimes I feel like there's a million things going on in her head and she has no idea how to tell me, but that only makes me more curious about her. Her PTSD was caused by a hold-up at her place of work which traumatised her, this happened almost a year ago, so she has not had PTSD long. She sees a psych that helps too. She said all her prior partners have left her and at one point told me she wouldn't be surprised if I left too, she said this with a very depressed tone almost as though she's expecting me to do the same as the others. I reassured her that I see a future with her and am sticking around for that; she is a nutritionist/naturopath, I am currently studying to be a nurse, we both want to travel and love bushwalking and many active hobbies together and we see a future of possibility like working in healthcare all over the world doing what we love with each other, so I ain't going nowhere :D
On top of this (nothing's ever simple), I have depression and anxiety stemming from childhood sexual abuse from a family member, bullied for half of high school and an abusive relationship roughly 4 years ago, all of which have given me plenty to work through, but mostly insecurity and a need for attachment that has in the past, pushed my partners away and made them leave. I see a psych myself and am always working on this, it's not easy and I know my partner's PTSD isn't either, but in this way we also understand each other. It's been hard the last few weeks because she is overseas on holiday while I'm home studying and for some irrational and unjustified reasons worried about her fidelity and investment in me, but that I think stems from my need for reassurance, which I am working on giving myself, which is a lot easier said than done.
Anyway, I got sidetracked there a bit, but I guess it's all a bit relevant. Tess my partner is someone I see myself with for a very long time and at my age I am investing and looking to the future, and I am just hoping to know what to expect. She has suggested we see a new psych/counsellor together possibly at some stage and I am thinking this will be great because instead of my trying to pull teeth from her or her not feeling like she might be able to say everything around me, that maybe a counselling presence will help.
Thanks for listening, sorry this is so long, and thanks in advance for any advice, cheers!
James
I am a 31yr old man who has been in a relationship with a 30yr old woman with PTSD for almost 3 months. I am hoping to hear from other men in relationships with PTSD women to gat a gauge of what it's like to be with them and what they can expect? I have found that my partner often has trouble making love or being physically intimate and there's a bit of work to do around breaking down this barrier for her, regardless of this, she is very comfortable with kissing, hugging and intimacy physically above the clothes. Emotionally she is pretty connected too, but sometimes I feel like there's a million things going on in her head and she has no idea how to tell me, but that only makes me more curious about her. Her PTSD was caused by a hold-up at her place of work which traumatised her, this happened almost a year ago, so she has not had PTSD long. She sees a psych that helps too. She said all her prior partners have left her and at one point told me she wouldn't be surprised if I left too, she said this with a very depressed tone almost as though she's expecting me to do the same as the others. I reassured her that I see a future with her and am sticking around for that; she is a nutritionist/naturopath, I am currently studying to be a nurse, we both want to travel and love bushwalking and many active hobbies together and we see a future of possibility like working in healthcare all over the world doing what we love with each other, so I ain't going nowhere :D
On top of this (nothing's ever simple), I have depression and anxiety stemming from childhood sexual abuse from a family member, bullied for half of high school and an abusive relationship roughly 4 years ago, all of which have given me plenty to work through, but mostly insecurity and a need for attachment that has in the past, pushed my partners away and made them leave. I see a psych myself and am always working on this, it's not easy and I know my partner's PTSD isn't either, but in this way we also understand each other. It's been hard the last few weeks because she is overseas on holiday while I'm home studying and for some irrational and unjustified reasons worried about her fidelity and investment in me, but that I think stems from my need for reassurance, which I am working on giving myself, which is a lot easier said than done.
Anyway, I got sidetracked there a bit, but I guess it's all a bit relevant. Tess my partner is someone I see myself with for a very long time and at my age I am investing and looking to the future, and I am just hoping to know what to expect. She has suggested we see a new psych/counsellor together possibly at some stage and I am thinking this will be great because instead of my trying to pull teeth from her or her not feeling like she might be able to say everything around me, that maybe a counselling presence will help.
Thanks for listening, sorry this is so long, and thanks in advance for any advice, cheers!
James
