Reality Check Time

[scout86]

@Recovery4Me , actually "driving" is an activity that tends to relax me. Although sometimes I DO have a tendency to lose track of how fast I'm going..... He asked me once what my idea of "safe" was. (I told it was a nice lie you told to children to make them feel better.) When I thought about it later, "driving" came to mind as someplace that seems kind of safe. Weird, all things considered.

So, I decided to send him another email. When I got there to do it, I had one from him. We have another appointment. We'll see, I guess.

@Junebug , "trust" is the challenge, for sure. You know how a lot of people have trouble taking "No" for an answer? I think I have trouble accepting "yes" for an answer. "No" I know what to do with! "Yes"? Not so much. I at least trust this guy enough to tell him the truth. I'm not much into lying, but I'm not real comfortable sharing my feelings either. In my experience, no good generally comes of it. But, so far, when I HAVE shared thoughts and feelings with him, nothing bad has happened. Besides, he's not offended by my sense of humor. (And lots of authority types are.)

I still have this vague "something's wrong" feeling. Could just be my imagination, or it could be real and have nothing to do with me. I'll go one more time and reassess. Maybe even talk about all this with him.

Thanks you all!

 

[joeylittle]

Insurance pretty much never covers Skype (or phone), just FYI.

My T will bill it like I'm in the office, but my psych won't. It's up to the practitioner whether they are in a position to break the rule or not. (This is in the US).

 

[City Slicker]

Speak with him. You have good instincts and they will lead you in the right direction.

 

[Larksong]

Dear @scout86 It sounds like both you and your T are experiencing stress from this. I'll give you back some advice that reflects the wonderful advice you've given me about my situation:

1) Ask him what he really feels about the situation and tell him how you feel!

2) Follow your own truest instincts, not your lowest opinion of your own worth. You are definitely not too "old" or not worth the time to work on issues--just like my guy isn't. :) You have an intrinsic value that has nothing to do with age or circumstances. Don't just go looking for excuses to discount the progress you've made and walk away. Is it even possible that your feelings about this reflect an underlying anxiety about continuing further along the road you're on and discovering there's something you don't want to deal with? So that walking away now is a form of avoidance? If that's the case, it sounds like this T is the best person to help you get through that.

3) It's always sounded to me like your T is someone with a lot of insight and that you two work really well together. I think that's a rare thing. If I were in a similar place, I'd be very hesitant to leave a T who had helped me so much and who was such a great fit. It sounds like you've got a good plan--see him on days you're already going to be in town--and if I were him, I'd be on board with it. Speaking as someone who also works in a sort of "helping" position, I'd do exactly what he did with my clients: Make absolutely sure they understood what all their options were, especially if I felt disorganized and frustrated by the circumstances of my move. What he did sounds very professional and straightforward, making sure you knew you had a choice. It sounds to me completely like it's not anything about you, it's about him and his feeling that he needs to do right by you by letting you move to another T if you feel it's in your best interests.

4) So analyze what really is in your own long-term best interests as a person ABSOLUTELY worthy of respect and the attention of others who want to help you, not just based on what a bit of stress with the new situation is making you think and feel right now.

Hugs! :) Lark

 

[scout86]

or you are getting worried and the first instinct is to eliminate the stressor (tell your T goodbye).

The more I've thought about this, the more I see the truth in it. I actually do this a lot, but I've never been aware of the reason. I actually never wondered about the reason. It feels like I'm "trapped" and all I want to do is get out of the trap. You may have given my a topic, if he asks, "What do you 'not' want to talk about this week?" :D Thanks!