Background - I went no contact with my father about a year ago. I have not spoken to my sister in 5 years. I had moved about 10 hours away from both of them, and the already broken relationships got worse.
My sister, I just cannot deal with, she's spoiled rotten, my father buys her everything (house, cars, etc). She's acted extremely rude to me over the years even after I've gone out of my way to help her out financially, throw a baby shower for her, give her my new appliances when I moved, etc. Plus she has never acknowledged my 16 year old daughter, where as I've babysat for her during the summers because I worked from home, and I always send cards and gifts to my nieces and nephews (her 3 kids). She became extremely jealous after I bought my house, and decided she wouldn't invite me or my daughter to her wedding. I stopped talking to her right then.
My father and I have never had a good relationship. He's just downright cruel and abusive to me. I left home at 17, put myself through college, raised a baby on my own at a young age without ever asking him for anything. He's thrown a fit about attending my wedding, has also thrown a fit about my house. My mother died when I was younger, and he left me to deal with all of it, and I got stuck paying for it because she committed suicide and the life insurance was cancelled. After I moved I would call him and visit so my daughter could see him, and he would ignore us. We'd have to stay in a hotel, and he wouldn't want to do anything even though he picked the days we would come up. He's never visited us where we live, and after I bought my house, started saying really nasty things to my husband and I. Like the day I emailed pictures of the house to him, his response was "I don't know how the hell you could buy a house so big" or because my husband is a lawyer he'd say we used corrupt lawyer money to buy it. My husband does not make that much money, and we both got 2nd jobs and saved for 3 years. Also, my husband does a lot of volunteer legal work and has helped a lot of people over the years.
Anyway, what caused me to go no contact with my dad this most recent time was my friend had died and I had just found out I was pregnant with really horrible morning sickness. My father contacted me for the first time in 3 months wanting me to help my step sister out financially because she was going through a divorce. I have no relationship with my step sister and when I had divorced my abusive ex years ago, had spent at least $20,000 in legal fees which my father refused to help me with at all. I had also just found out within a 15 minute time frame that my friend was dead, and when I told my father that, his response was "ok". That's it. "Ok".
Being that I was pregnant and throwing up constantly, I basically told my father off. I didn't tell him I was pregnant. I did tell him that it was very rude of him to ask me for money, and they he doesn't even bother to ask about his granddaughter but spoils my sister and her 3 kids. I was still very upset that I wasn't invited to my own sister's wedding that he paid for. I told him I was tired of how he treated me, and I was done. To which he acted like he had no clue why I was saying any of it to him.
Well, a couple months later, my stepmom found out I was pregnant from one of my friend's posting a comment on my Instagram account. We weren't even telling anyone yet. My father's response was to block me, my daughter and my husband from all social media accounts he had. My stepmom kept contacting me about the baby, and how she wanted to have a baby shower at their house 10 hours from us, and how excited she was for us. She sent Christmas gifts for the baby which I'm just now 18 weeks along... That's a weird thing to deal with... My in laws think it's weird my father is acting like the way he is. My husband is really pissed because it upsets me.
We sent out baby announcements a couple weeks ago. And then just within a couple of days ago, my dad's side of the family have been deleting me from social media. I found out that my father is now telling everyone that I won't let him see his grandchildren, which is the opposite of what I've wanted. My daughter has tried Facetime-ing him several times or calling on birthdays and holidays, he wants nothing to do with her. I also spent a year asking him when he was coming down to see our house. He travels all the time, a 2 hour plane trip is nothing to him.
So, what should be a happy pregnancy because my husband and I had been trying for 5 years and had been to specialists now feels like I shouldn't be happy about it. I'm beyond upset right now. Yes I had gone no contact but because I was tired of trying. I'm 37, it gets old after a while. But if he made an effort to want a relationship with me and my kids, of course I would let him. That was the whole point in the first place! It's friggin' insane. I don't even know how to handle this right now. Do I just ignore it? Do I confront him? Do I start trying to contact my family members? This is not normal.
My sister, I just cannot deal with, she's spoiled rotten, my father buys her everything (house, cars, etc). She's acted extremely rude to me over the years even after I've gone out of my way to help her out financially, throw a baby shower for her, give her my new appliances when I moved, etc. Plus she has never acknowledged my 16 year old daughter, where as I've babysat for her during the summers because I worked from home, and I always send cards and gifts to my nieces and nephews (her 3 kids). She became extremely jealous after I bought my house, and decided she wouldn't invite me or my daughter to her wedding. I stopped talking to her right then.
My father and I have never had a good relationship. He's just downright cruel and abusive to me. I left home at 17, put myself through college, raised a baby on my own at a young age without ever asking him for anything. He's thrown a fit about attending my wedding, has also thrown a fit about my house. My mother died when I was younger, and he left me to deal with all of it, and I got stuck paying for it because she committed suicide and the life insurance was cancelled. After I moved I would call him and visit so my daughter could see him, and he would ignore us. We'd have to stay in a hotel, and he wouldn't want to do anything even though he picked the days we would come up. He's never visited us where we live, and after I bought my house, started saying really nasty things to my husband and I. Like the day I emailed pictures of the house to him, his response was "I don't know how the hell you could buy a house so big" or because my husband is a lawyer he'd say we used corrupt lawyer money to buy it. My husband does not make that much money, and we both got 2nd jobs and saved for 3 years. Also, my husband does a lot of volunteer legal work and has helped a lot of people over the years.
Anyway, what caused me to go no contact with my dad this most recent time was my friend had died and I had just found out I was pregnant with really horrible morning sickness. My father contacted me for the first time in 3 months wanting me to help my step sister out financially because she was going through a divorce. I have no relationship with my step sister and when I had divorced my abusive ex years ago, had spent at least $20,000 in legal fees which my father refused to help me with at all. I had also just found out within a 15 minute time frame that my friend was dead, and when I told my father that, his response was "ok". That's it. "Ok".
Being that I was pregnant and throwing up constantly, I basically told my father off. I didn't tell him I was pregnant. I did tell him that it was very rude of him to ask me for money, and they he doesn't even bother to ask about his granddaughter but spoils my sister and her 3 kids. I was still very upset that I wasn't invited to my own sister's wedding that he paid for. I told him I was tired of how he treated me, and I was done. To which he acted like he had no clue why I was saying any of it to him.
Well, a couple months later, my stepmom found out I was pregnant from one of my friend's posting a comment on my Instagram account. We weren't even telling anyone yet. My father's response was to block me, my daughter and my husband from all social media accounts he had. My stepmom kept contacting me about the baby, and how she wanted to have a baby shower at their house 10 hours from us, and how excited she was for us. She sent Christmas gifts for the baby which I'm just now 18 weeks along... That's a weird thing to deal with... My in laws think it's weird my father is acting like the way he is. My husband is really pissed because it upsets me.
We sent out baby announcements a couple weeks ago. And then just within a couple of days ago, my dad's side of the family have been deleting me from social media. I found out that my father is now telling everyone that I won't let him see his grandchildren, which is the opposite of what I've wanted. My daughter has tried Facetime-ing him several times or calling on birthdays and holidays, he wants nothing to do with her. I also spent a year asking him when he was coming down to see our house. He travels all the time, a 2 hour plane trip is nothing to him.
So, what should be a happy pregnancy because my husband and I had been trying for 5 years and had been to specialists now feels like I shouldn't be happy about it. I'm beyond upset right now. Yes I had gone no contact but because I was tired of trying. I'm 37, it gets old after a while. But if he made an effort to want a relationship with me and my kids, of course I would let him. That was the whole point in the first place! It's friggin' insane. I don't even know how to handle this right now. Do I just ignore it? Do I confront him? Do I start trying to contact my family members? This is not normal.
