Refuge

[Jimmy1]

The other factor is that isolation is sort of like an inner protection I think. I call it Porcupine mode. Curl into a ball and put your quills out and god forbid anyone who tries to interfere. Unfortunately its those who we love the most who get hurt. We think they will always come back.
But from experience with the ex, once bitten, twice shy. They just get pricked by those quills just once too many and then they don't come back. I used to have heaps of friends, but I told the majority of them all where to go when I was not well. I tried explaining to them later that it was not me telling them, but they did not understand.

That is why PTSD is such a lonely ailment.

 

[Ned]

That is why PTSD is such a lonely ailment.

Yep. Hence my rant about UK support, doesn't matter how well-intentioned they might be there comes a point where the gap is too big and you just want to tell them not to bother. It's a tough one, my girl does her level best to understand but she still gets hurt and that really bothers me.
All I can do is reassure her it's not personal. God help anyone if it were............

 

[Wagon]

Ok, I understand a bit more now. But then it is something I have to be careful with. I used to do it with the computer allot. My wife hated it. I used to play a very addictive game (well still do, about to after this post) called Civilization. Allot to do with everything really. A giant real world strategy game. I can check completely out with this one. Feels good.

The last times I've seen my family, my wife has been very relieved that I don't have my computer with me, and I have purposely left it behind. I don't miss it....... so much. But there is a need for a happy place. I just need to figure out another happy place that does not make people angry. If I'm on the computer.... well it is porcupine mode.

Recently I have rediscovered writing by hand. Feels pretty good. I sort things out that way and sometimes manage to put my words in order so they make sense. It may be my new safe place going to the note book.

All I know is that the computer safe place is death for me. I can obsess on it for hours. (i.e. lack of anchors in my life, no job etc...) I have had to make a recent rule with myself that there will be no internet or games in the morning. I will only do productive mind engaging things. Worked pretty good today. Trying to start a trend.

Ok, now reading a bit more here....another question. If "happy place" makes the significant other angry, what then?Do we need to warn more. I have learned in recent times that communication is something that is quite good for the relationship. As in sharing feelings and private things. (lmao now) At some point needing the happy place for awhile
is going to conflict with reality. Can you do this in the thick of it?

Not trying to blow holes in any theory here, just testing the limits of what "happy place" is and how long I can legally reside there. Probably personal or individual. But it is good to know limits.

Wagon