Refusing To Apologize

[I_Am_Titanium]

If someone says they feel bad about something they said to you but refuses to apologize because YOU did or didn't do [fill in the blank], that isn't healthy is it? There is probably a word for that.

Why would this person even bother to say anything if they don't want to sincerely apologize? Is he trying to make himself feel better by blaming me for his outburst? Is he just using it as an excuse to attack me once again? That it's okay for him to verbally abuse me because I did or didn't do something he expected in the past that's unrelated to the topic?

Yes, what he said to me was horrible and uncalled for. It's not my fault he didn't read the paper that had the information on it. He's had this information for months but somehow it's my fault he didn't read it? He went off on me telling me what a horrible person I was which had nothing to do with it. I didn't respond to him. I let it go. I didn't expect an apology from him in the first place. I've never gotten one and I probably never will and that's okay with me.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Apologies are useless unless backed up with actions. He's blaming you so he doesn't feel like a prick of an asshole. If possible, I would walk away from this person and not look back....

 

[FireSign8]

My own Mother used to tell me that she would not have to beat me if I could only learn not to look at her! Then she would tell me to look at her before she beat me. Mixed signals & mind bending are what these types of people are doing! Does not matter if they know it or not - they are manipulators & unless you want to have to watch your back 24/7, it's just easier to stay away from them & refuse to interact in a work environment. Easier said than done. So, that mere fact that they did tell you that they "felt bad" is most likely the best you will ever get from them. Expecting more is just asking to be disappointed in my opinion. You can overthink it forever or you can just go on with your life. Report it in writing if it escalates. It is a form of workplace harassment.