Reign Over Me

[Langdon]

I bought a copy today and plan on watching it this weekend.

It was surprisingly easy to find - and on sale too! When I'm done watching it I think I'll donate it to my local library if they don't already have a copy.

 

[becvan]

I watched it quite awhile ago. Made me bawl. LOL I love it.. still have to buy a copy of it...

bec

 

[Nicolette]

I watched this movie with Anthony and again when we bought it on DVD. As a carer it was enlightening but also made me think wow....how lucky I was with Anthony if that is how PTSD can be. The 'thinking about suicide' scene really made me realise how much Adam Sandler's character was hurting. The court scene was really sad, especially when he went and said that he was walking around seeing other people and dogs thinking they were his family. It tore at my heart strings!

 

[Deleted member 541]

I bought the DVD today and just finished watching it. Good movie.

 

[anthony]

Yer... I think it was absolutely accurate in regard to how others looked upon him. The judge was one of few strangers within his life who didn't just wonder why he hadn't gotten on with life, but instead understood the true complexities to the entire case. Very true of those around us, even those within family, how they just perceive everyone should just "get over it" because that is what they often try and tell themselves. Funny thing is... more often than not those who tell themselves or others they have gotten over it, usually are just hiding their true emotions, hurt, pain, etc about the subject / event.

 

[Nicolette]

The judge was one of few strangers within his life who didn't just wonder why he hadn't gotten on with life, but instead understood the true complexities to the entire case. Very true of those around us, even those within family, how they just perceive everyone should just "get over it" because that is what they often try and tell themselves.

Very true on both points.

 

[Langdon]

Couldn't sleep last night and ended up watching the movie around 2 a.m.

Lots of thoughts, but a few that stand out:

I've always thought of being a carer as a one person job, but Charlie had a small network of carers in place - the building manager and his attorney - who protected him and got him through everyday stuff. They helped him exist. How realistic that is, I don't know. When Alan came along, he developed as a carer on a different level - one who wanted Charlie not just to "exist" but to be able to work out his trauma.

It was interesting to see the argument between the therapists about what was best for Charlie. The state therapist had a more detached, almost uninterested bureaucratic approach while the regular therapist cared enough to see it was going to take him a long time to heal, and that he should be allowed to do it in his own time instead of going by some preconceived timeframe.

The in-laws felt that they should be the natural carers for Charlie because, as they said, "We're his only family now". While well intentioned, it was obvious that they were a too close reminder of the trauma he couldn't bring himself to deal with. Hence, the shut out.

After shutting out his in-laws for so long, when Charlie left his apartment, he still obviously had that inner spark of love for his mother-in-law to leave her the lamp that she had given to her daughter. In spite of all the agony he had been through, it was easy to forget that his emotions were still there. We just couldn't see them.

I thought the scene immediately after that was so true about how people can differently. When turning to leave, the in-laws looked at the kitchen that Charlie had renovated. The mother-in-law was struck by how beautiful it was, and how much her daughter would have loved it. She could feel the love that Charlie had for his wife and children. Yet, in the same moment, her husband, unable to see beyond his own immediate needs, looked at it, shrugged, and said "It's just a kitchen."

Of course, I'm only a carer, so others might have different takes on these things...but those were points that stood out to me.

 

[Nicolette]

When turning to leave, the in-laws looked at the kitchen that Charlie had renovated. The mother-in-law was struck by how beautiful it was, and how much her daughter would have loved it. She could feel the love that Charlie had for his wife and children. Yet, in the same moment, her husband, unable to see beyond his own immediate needs, looked at it, shrugged, and said "It's just a kitchen."

Isn't that the irony of it though??? ....Charlie's wife had wanted a new kitchen and Charlie had put it off and off because "it was just a kitchen". It was only on the loss of his wife that the guilt of not recongnising his wife's wants came to light which made him continually build kitchens. But no matter what kitchen Charlie built it would not bring his wife back.

 

[anthony]

I would say the rest enabled him... I believe Alan said this during the movie. I found that to be quite accurate, in that they protected him, they helped him avoid dealing with the trauma instead of having to face it. Alan pushed him forward to help himself.... for no other purpose than that IMHO. You can sit around, even sit back in the shadows and watch someone destruct, or you can atleast give them some effort and push them whether they like it or not... just to see whether they are ready to help themselves or not.

Granted.... some may see themselves as failing such a thing or make matters worse if the timing is not right, though if a couple of years stands between the trauma and present.... chances are enough pushing will get them to begin facing their fears and cease running from them. That is something I enjoyed about that movie...

 

[Moonshadow]

I liked this movie, and would watch it again. I could relate to Charlie, and his constant attempt to distract his brain from thinking of the trauma. Mel Brooks movies and video games, and listening to music (often loud), all to try to drown out the constant agony he felt.

When my husband asked me if the movie was any good, I just told him, "It was sad." I know that he wouldn't understand it, and wouldn't enjoy such a movie, for that reason.

 

[philostam]

Well, you won't like me, but I didn't like it at all. I know it's not a contest, but go watch 'Stay': now that is heartbreaking. We never get close to Charlie, not one moment, this is the fault of the director, because with that he's just an emotionally retarded person who needs care. So this is the carer friend's movie, not Charlie's. - Whatever, if you want to see a movie about the inner hell of an anxiety sufferer, go watch Stay. But beware, it may tear you apart.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Hello philostam,

Ive noticed you're always approaching subjects like the soul and the universe and blah blah... I'll stay away from that, lest my brain explode.

I thought Reign Over Me was excellent!!! As for 'Stay' - the ramblings of someone very f*(&ed up.

Anyways, just my opinion - hope you dont hold it against me.