Rejecting Dissociation

[Teal]

for years I have had a lot of severe dissociative symptoms and I really don’t like it. It makes me feel afraid that my psyche might be fragmented or something like that. I try really hard to not believe in it and always talk myself out of it but it really haunts me. I’m seriously keeping it short because I don’t have the energy right this second to explain. Does anyone else struggle with this? I don’t want to be influenced by the internet into thinking I have this rare disorder of some kind and it won’t leave me alone.

 

[Teal]

It’s just in far too much detail for so many years and I just feel it in my bones when people misinterpret or speak about severe dissociation in an inconsistent way. I feel like I just know but, again, I’m too tired just this second

 

[Teal]

I apologise I am very tired

 

[Teal]

rip maybe I should try explain more clearly when I’m less exhausted

 

[Teasel]

Hi, sorry you're so tired
Dissociation is a symptom of ptsd so yes, lots of us here experience that. Sounds like you are worried about something more than that? But gor sure, it will be easier for people to reply when you're able to explain a little what you mean.

Hope you can get some rest soon

 

[arfie]

I try really hard to not believe in it and always talk myself out of it but it really haunts me.

this approach tied some gnarly psycho snot knots in my own psyche. the things i most want to disprove seem to be the ones which haunt me the hardest, whether i choose to believe in ^it^ or keep tooling along in abject denial. not believing in my own inner demons only seems to give them more room to work. they most certainly believe in me.

yes, you should try to explain more clearly when you are less exhausted. for now, how 'bout if we pause to celebrate your courage in having posted this far.

well done, teddie. i hope healing happens here.
steadying support while you find your clarity.

 

[Teal]

Hi, sorry you're so tired
Dissociation is a symptom of ptsd so yes, lots of us here experience that. Sounds like you are worried about something more than that? But gor sure, it will be easier for people to reply when you're able to explain a little what you mean.

Hope you can get some rest soon

Much love!

this approach tied some gnarly psycho snot knots in my own psyche. the things i most want to disprove seem to be the ones which haunt me the hardest, whether i choose to believe in ^it^ or keep tooling along in abject denial. not believing in my own inner demons only seems to give them more room to work. they most certainly believe in me.

yes, you should try to explain more clearly when you are less exhausted. for now, how 'bout if we pause to celebrate your courage in having posted this far.

well done, teddie. i hope healing happens here.
steadying support while you find your clarity.

Thank you kind soul

 

[sidptitala]

for years I have had a lot of severe dissociative symptoms and I really don’t like it. It makes me feel afraid that my psyche might be fragmented or something like that. I try really hard to not believe in it and always talk myself out of it but it really haunts me. I’m seriously keeping it short because I don’t have the energy right this second to explain. Does anyone else struggle with this? I don’t want to be influenced by the internet into thinking I have this rare disorder of some kind and it won’t leave me alone.

Yes I have also struggled with dissociation and still do sometimes. I recently read a book by Carolyn Spring, who explains this better than I can. I would recommend looking her up if you can- she has a website with lots of free information. In particular she writes a lot about what drives dissociation and how to come out of it.

 

[Friday]

All of my dissociation falls pretty durn squarely in the range of both of my -very common- disorders (PTSD & ADHD), so I don’t worry about it being anything “more”.

That said? There have been many many many times in my life, when I’m running symptom hot, and my dissociative symptoms are either wreaking havoc, or rendering me nonfunctional.

Whether that’s 20+ hours of flashbacks &/or zoning out; or hitting a fugue state, and waking up in another country a few weeks/months later, and having to piece together how the hell I got here, from where, & what happened in between.