Rejection...... Is She Ever Coming Back?

[bell]

Okay, then she allowed you to speak to her doctor? Sorry if I misunderstood. But people here do that sometimes, come up on their devices that their loved one had PTSD and it's just. not. cool. For anyone involved.

Also, I agree with @nursenurse, you're not divorced. And you weren't divorced when you met. That spells disaster much more clearly to me than the PTSD. Have you dealt with the fact that looking elsewhere while married is selfish? Because if she does have PTSD, you're going to need to check that selfishness at the door several times over. More than you might ever possibly begin to think.

 

[Aching65]

Yes Bell I appreciate that. I have separated from the ex 2 1/2 years ago, and the divorce should be finally ratified by the judge next week. We were both in an unhappy relationship when we met, and we both left our partners.

 

[TryinToHeal]

She is very vulnerable right now and you may be too, although neither of you might realize this. I would be very careful with each other.

I don't suggest people getting together unless they're both on solid ground. Without knowing really what we're doing, this is the type of relationship where we hurt people the most and the fastest. It is hard to simply "yield" or "abstain" and this is why I need Gods help and that of a 12-step fellowship and a sponsor. Today I have a guided "sixth sense" that tells me whether I'm being selfish or not.

I wish you both the best.

 

[nursenurse]

The thing is, you started chatting her up BEFORE you were separated. I don't care how many problems you had at home. This speaks volumes to me about character. At any rate, neither of you had clean backyards before this started, love does not make it honourable.

 

[Aching65]

D4, and have not heard from her. I definitely am not optimistic...... Although last summer she went off without signs for 3 weeks, and then I got a phone call out of the blue....

 

[Aching65]

Well S has reached out and contacted me last Wednesday. She needed some help which I gladly provided.

She is telling me she has been feeling very anxious the whole weekend. She feels on the edge, and feel she has trouble coping with unexpected events, or even work, no matter how trivial those events are. It does not seem to be related to me.

I suppose it is the normal healing process she is going trough with the therapy?

 

[nursenurse]

Whether it seems related to you or not, you can't rush in. Let her find her own solutions. Listen to her, but do not push yourself or your solutions on her. Co dependency would not be in anyone's best interest, and if you rush in to fix, even if it doesn't seem to be about you, makes it all about you.