Supporter Relationship And Sex

[intuition2015]

Hi i am new to this forum i do not have ptsd but my bf does from military trama im here to reach out to other members who have ptsd for more understanding on my behalf. We have been together for two yrs, and the first yr was great he did explain for the most part im guessing. But just want to hear from others and would be nice if any had military infantry back grounds looking forward to talking with u thanks

 

[intuition2015]

Just adding to my post this is a long and confusing story that everyone i have talked to on another different forum on sex, relationship, and on sexual behaviors i will put it that way but those forums are on other types and not specializing with ptsd and why my bf is acting to me the way he is just to make that clear thanks

 

[iwannadeletethis]

@intuition2015 welcome!!

 

[Glara]

Welcome! You will find my supporters of PTSD vets on here. I'm a supporter but my guy has CPTSD from childhood abuse. A lot of similarities, but many differences too. Again, welcome to the forum, you'll find a lot of support and useful information here.

 

[intuition2015]

Ty so much i hope i can get all the info and explanation on ptsd

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi, and welcome!

I belong to other relationship forums, too...

I advise asking relationship questions here, because in the scope of normal relationships, the kinds of things that happen in PTSD relationships.....well, most people would either give bad advice that could make the situation worse or simply say "kick him to the curb!"

 

[Friday]

Marine Corps, here. Not infantry, although I did grunt shit after I go out for a few years, there are as many if not more differences as similarities. Shrug. What we did and where we were seems to matter less than I'd ever have thought. I belong to a combatPTSD site where it's pretty much all services, from all over the world, all conflicts, all over, from Nam to Present... And it's amazing to me how none of that shit matters. The more things changed the more they stay the same. If it's combat trauma, not just military trauma (whole lot of possible trauma just from serving, lol, the military can be a seriously f*cked up place), I'd recommend whole heartedly that you have your BF check out the sister-site mycombatPTSD.com

Least in my experience (first hand, and dating other combat vets) sex tends to split, or flip flop back and forth, between no effing way (for a helluva lot of reasons; body just isn't working right, mind can't focus, meds, just feeling sick as f*ck, etc.) & seeeeerious overdrive.

There are some really great articles around on combatPTSD & sex I'll see if I can dig out. One way or another it's often an issue.

 

[Ghostybear73]

Welcome to the forum :)

 

[intothelight]

@intuition2015 Welcome to the forum!:)

The Supporter section is a good source for information and I hope you find it helpful.

 

[intuition2015]

Ty intothelight so far i have found a couple nice people that have given me some pretty input but still asking my questions on more information on ptsd thanks so much.

 

[intuition2015]

We have been slightly talking about our sex and relationship he still pretty much clams up like he doesnt know what to say or how to say his feelings i feel the more i try to talk about our situation it tends to make him angry. And it goes into a arguement then we both start saying things we dont mean or he doesnt talk to me for a couple days like i did something wrong. But i know i didnt. I know sex isnt everything in a relationship but it helps. He said he just likes a little bit more excitement in the room that hes bored so i started a conversation about different ideas and dirty talk that seemed to work but he dont talk to me communicate with me so i know these things. He tells me its not easy for him to talk about things so when u dont do that then it turns into what we are going through now. But hoping to get a little more out of him little by little without an anger issue those do not turn out good lol. But i will go into other questions im curious about to but has nothing to do ith this topic. Its about anger outbursts just out of the blue. Irritation, night mares attacking me in his sleep im bipolar, theres another one but cant spell it but basically i will put it this way skitzo so if this isnt a good place for that maybe someone can tell me the best forum for that info

 

[Ivan the Elder]

US Army during Vietnam War. Was not in combat zone, was in artillery, nuclear missiles. I have had some degree of PTSD most of my life. The armed forces creates a "military mode" in any person. When in that mode you obey orders, no questions asked. No chatter, stand at attention or at ease and shut up. When I was improperly sent to a psych ward recently that was what I did the moment I was in there. Go straight into "military mode". That can happen when in any sort of severe emotional trauma and I have done it when being first on the scene of a gruesome car accident of six teens. I am a trained medic and you must shut off your emotions or you cannot function. It is the same way in the military but not all people are good at turning off emotions.

I no longer can because of strokes I suffered a few years ago. That has caused a form of brain damage that disconnects parts of my brain. It prevents me from turning down my emotions when threatened in any way so PTSD has blown up to a high level now because of recent events.

Dealing with it in a loved one is obviously to me a very difficult thing. My wife has left me for that very reason. In my opinion you should try to engage him in talking about what bothers him the most. It will not be at all easy and could be very upsetting. What he needs to do I think is what I am doing with some success. By delving into the emotional mind and opening old wounds they can be drained. It must be done very carefully so as not to induce too much anger and/or violence and it does not work immediately. It requires that the sufferer face his evils repeatedly until he becomes desensitized when they appear.

I am no sort of expert and this is only my opinion based on what seems to be working for me. As I no longer have a partner to help me with this I do it by writing a very detailed journal which then reveals to me just what subjects and even just sentences contain cues that activate the PTSD.