Relationship Struggles

[PureDogs]

Hello,

I am not able to sleep right now because something has been chewing inside me with broiling anger. What is the reason behind that as I prefer not to say too much here about why.

I'm wondering if anyone of you have fear to be in relationship?

If so, how do you face this and overcome it?

I have lot of fear and struggle to show love - I still have difficulty to overcome the fear.

Sometimes I would feel numb when in relationship and become self-doubt about everything then feeling anger and fear took over.

Have you experience the similar?

If you would like to know more specific, leave me a message in private and I might open up a little bit more deeper.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think you've said enough for us to reply. Yes, I fear relationships! They make me vulnerable and open to being hurt again. I just ended a relationship where I knew I would never be able to open up again, but I'm also trying to re-kindle a number of other relationships from my past. (They are safer, so a good place to start!)

I think it helps to take things slow. Use CBT skills when you have doubts (if you have thoughts that feed into your fears).

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

I relate very much to what you are saying. For me, relationships of any kind are so difficult! I feel like I somehow missed out on learning how to relate and connect to other people. In my mind I'm such a failure at relationships that I am doomed at the start. I fear that once people really get to know me they won't want to be a friend or partner anymore. Then subconsciously I start doing things to push people away to fulfill my own prophecy. I am working on this in therapy and I hope to get better at relationships with time and practice.

 

[Barconian]

I'm wondering if anyone of you have fear to be in relationship?

I think everyone has that fear. To overcome it... be selfless :)

 

[PureDogs]

@Solara

Thank you - CBT Skills? I have heard of it and I took DBT before. I would need to refresh with this kind therapy and for CBT - I would check with my therapist about that. Thanks!

 

[PureDogs]

@Unraveling1

Thank you and I am feeling a bit better to know that I'm not only one here who is suffering of PTSD has struggle with relationship. I can relate that with the feeling doomed and don't know where to start - feeling fear to go next level of relationship due to betrayal and getting back in the same pattern that I went through.

I felt that the patience is most important key when someone is in relationship with person who is suffering of PTSD.

Of course, Communication is important in the relationship; I felt that it can be hard at times and don't want to open it up. I admit that I have habit to hold it inside. Whenever I tries to get out of my chest, I get push down, telling me to get over with it, or whatever statement would be. When this happens, I would try to remind myself that the person does not know what they are talking about or/and don't understand.

 

[PureDogs]

@Barconian

Selfless :-) Thank you for reminder about that and I do have difficult to do that sometimes when I try that I get hold back whenever something comes in my memory or trigger/stressor that may effect the flashback.

 

[Barconian]

@PureDogs the trigger/stressor always gets in the way. It is what we do with it that counts. Keep practising, that's what I do :)

 

[PureDogs]

@Barconian

I agree and I do notice that.

How do you handle that?

I'm still practicing on this and thank you for encouragement.

 

[Me Myself and I]

First of all thank you for this thread.

I honestly thought it was only me, I am 24 and never ever had a relationship in my life. I was never shy or had problems socialising, on the contrary I have lots of friends and enjoy being around people most of the time.

But just the thought of having a boyfriend makes me feel literary sick. I get pain in my stomach and try to distract myself from the idea right away.

It probably sounds silly I know, that's why I never talk about it with anyone. I can't really explain myself.
All those around me think that I am just too picky, I am looking for Mr perfect, for prince charming. When it's not like that at all.

I, like everyone else want to find a person that completes me, that understands and love me, someone who will accept me with all my problems and complication.
But that seems impossible. I must admit, mom alway say, that I never give anyone a chance, and to some extent it is true. But again it has nothing to do with being picky, rather instead with me being probably too scare to open up, To completely trust that one person with all my secrets.

I mean how can I possibly explain PTSD!! how can I tell him about the way I am! about the complications I have. What if he wont understand?what if he wont accept it?? What if he gets scared.

I am so confused and I don't honestly know if I can ever work this problem out. xD

Maybe one day? :D

 

[Mary]

I'm wondering if anyone of you have fear to be in relationship?

Yes.

If so, how do you face this and overcome it?

I haven't yet. I'm getting ready to work on that. *deep breath*

:)

Mary

 

[PureDogs]

@Nabii nabzz

Your welcome

My advice for you to not let people tell you that there's plenty time ahead of you because your 24.

Age doesn't mean anything but what we suffered does provide lot of barrier and challenges in our life.

For me - yes I am afraid of getting in cycle or end up getting hurt again. Am I skeptical and hard to trust? Yes I am.

It is hard find someone who truly understands you or others.