Supporter Relatively New Relationship, He's Disappeared Already

[nursenurse]

I'm in a relationship with a sufferer, we met on, of all places, Facebook, last November, through his sister. We have communicated everyday since, up until a week ago.

We have met up several times as well. Eight days ago, after expressing feelings of utter exhaustion and lack of energy while on line, he was gone. Screams depression to me. How do supporters cope with the sudden departures?

I am thousands of kilometres away for work right now, not due home until early February, and he is somewhat distant from his family, so no one for me to contact. Every day I leave him a message of encouragement so that if and when he comes back, he will know that he was thought of everyday. Is this something a sufferer would want to see when he/she is ready to come back?

The messages are not about my feelings, other than I care, but rather about encouraging him along his path to physical and emotional well being, and letting him know I will support him as much or as little as he will allow, when he is ready. Which is nil at the moment :) Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. And thanks.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

I would go down to the supporters section. You will find some helpful people there.

Take care.

 

[nursenurse]

Thank you, I discovered that one in the middle of the night while worrying myself silly. I see myself and him in all those letters :)

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[nursenurse]

Thank you!

 

[circe47]

We have met up several times as well. Eight days ago, after expressing feelings of utter exhaustion and lack of energy while on line, he was gone. Screams depression to me. How do supporters cope with the sudden departures?

I can't speak as a supporter, because I am a sufferer. I can tell you that depression is a symptom of PTSD. Perhaps the reason you have not heard from him is because he is in "isolation" mode, which is another symptom of PTSD. Another symptom is "avoidance", so it could be that he is avoiding due to being triggered by something.

The only other scenario that I can think of, speaking from experience, mind you, is that he is being a typical guy and backing off because he is starting to feel that things are moving too fast for him. You only met a couple months ago. Guys are notorious for getting all itchy footed if things progress too fast, even under ideal circumstances.

 

[nursenurse]

How true! I thought we were taking things easy, enforced by the nature of my job which takes me away for a month or more at a time. I think it is the isolation mode, we had talked about honesty and feelings before, that neither of us wanted to be led down the garden path. That if anything ever changed, we would tell each other. I honestly believe him to be a man of his word. Which is why I think he is depressed and is isolated right now. And so am I, isolated that is. Nothing to do but sit on my hands and wait. When I'm not typing :) Thanks for the insight, always appreciated.

 

[circe47]

Nurse-

I will send positive vibes your way that you hear from him soon. :tup: