Reported My Therapist

[City Slicker]

Hey Folks,
I just wanted to give an update for anyone reading this thread or for anyone launching a formal charge against a licensed and registered therapist. Today I got a call from her association letting me know that there was sufficient evidence of professional misconduct and the matter now had been assigned trial dates and a prosecutor.

I said that I understood I was to have received a copy of her response to my complaint and I never did. The assistant said she would look into it and she did. She responded within a few hours. She said I should have received it last September and said it was an oversight and sent it. Reading through it was a bit odd - there are some really false accusations against me and how I misread all her attempts to bond with me and my statements are false.

But a couple of things she had to admit was:

1) that we did 'live' together - (I had old pictures and a couple of documents that I submitted that showed our address together)

2) she did make physical contact with me on a number of occasions while I was her patient she says to provide mothering (physical contact was in my chart and I think she put it in there to cover up if anyone had witnessed her touching me.

She tries to refute a lot of it using attacking language, however much of her response/argument was facile. I would think anyone experienced in handling 'cases' like mine would be able to see through her attempts.

After reading it I realized she had to come up with something as a response - she even feigned indignity at my involving people both 'living and dead' as potential witnesses. She admits when our relationship ended, she got involved with her boss and moved in with him. (Maybe it's just me but I thought that admission spoke to her lack of boundaries)

Next steps:
I meet with the prosecutor for a four hour session later in the fall and then the trial is in the new year.
I am doing ok with it. I am calmer now and I spent a lot of time hugging Hank and we sat outside in the yard together for a while.
Part of me wished she would have just admitted it but, I know, the system isn't set up for people to do the right thing.

I realize there's a big line between unprofessionalism on her part on the one hand and proving sexual abuse on the other. The assistant said that short of someone seeing us having sex it's difficult to prove. However, unprofessionalism is easier to prove and seems to already exist in her own statement. They are arguing that when she 'took me into her home' there were no 'standards' governing that a therapist shouldn't live with a patient. She's playing with dates saying I was no longer a patient when all this happened. And so on. It read as though she was throwing everything she could at the complaint to see what would stick.

What else could she say?? Well, the truth would have been nice.
But I am glad she has to see this come out in public. I am working on unhooking from the outcome now.

Thank you for reading and thank you for all your support through this.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! For having the courage to file a complaint, and for being STRONG through the process! :tup:

You sound ready to "take on the battle" of proving her as a complete failure of having proper boundaries!

BRAVO!!!

 

[City Slicker]

Thank you @AngelkeeperJ/AKJ . I appreciate your comments very much. Thank you for the support. I am going through this by myself i.e., I haven't told anyone except people here and the support has helped so much.

 

[Abstract]

She should of course be in jail for a very long time. That is what she deserves. And then to lie. But I am so pleased for you! Impressed with your bravery and maturity and very glad she is not getting off scot free. You are inspirational.

 

[City Slicker]

Thank you so much @Abstract - I appreciate your words very much. The support has been so helpful and positive here. It really helps to hear the validation that what she did was wrong and that now the way she's reacting is also very wrong.

Sometimes you don't know what you are expecting in a situation until something comes back at you which is not what you were expecting and it helps you to realize exactly what you were expecting all along (lol)

I was expecting that she would have been able to bring some decency to her response - even if she denied it all and lied about the sexual violations, I could have even understood that. And indeed she did lie about that. But it was the petulant, dismissing, humiliating and sarcastic way in which she responded to my statements that helped me to see what I hadn't seen clearly until then.

I was expecting to see a person I could forgive.

 

[Abstract]

Your expectation represents the goodness in you. Sometimes we project our own goodness onto our offenders as it can feel impossible to fit our minds around their actions. She has shown herself to you in a more complete way than ever before. You can see what your vulnerable 14 year old self had to deal with. I hope you can more and more see how innocent you were in this and put the enormous full load of responsibility of her horrendous actions onto her back. What she did and is doing now is despicable. You however have integrity and courage. Something she has no experience of.

 

[City Slicker]

Thank you @Abstract - your words brought tears. Good tears lol.

I think I can also stop minimizing now. I think like many others that have gone through similar stuff I was thinking it must not have been that bad if I survived. But it was bad...

Your words helped a lot.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I think that you are doing a very good thing and it is so difficult to fight and to keep on fighting no matter what obstacles are in your path. This is such a hard thing to go through and yet I admire you for pushing forwards.:hug:

 

[BloomInWinter]

BRAVO, @City Slicker !!! WELL DONE!!! You have brought out the truth and they will see through her lies. Even if they can't make a criminal charge stick, she will likely be unable to practice again and that would be true justice. At the very least, any organization that might employ her as a therapist would likely watch her very closely in the future.

I would expect her to lie all the way through. Her lies don't erase the truth. Good for you for your bravery and honesty. When word gets out about her, it's possible your actions will empower others with similar abuse to come forward.

Regardless, you deserve to be so proud of yourself. You have done something very few have the strength and courage to do. You are amazing!

 

[Deleted member 29920]

a person I could forgive.

from what you've told us about her, all I see is a sociopath, other words too but I won't say them. I hope this vile excuse for a woman is brought to justice. You are so brave :hug::hug::hug:

 

[City Slicker]

@gizmo - thank you for your support. It's meant so much to me as I have been going through this. I am very touched by it. I understand now when people say that they have to go through something because it might be worth it to someone else some day. I also know what it's like now to say 'I am going through this because no-one should have done this to me and I was worth fighting for.'

@BloomInWinter - thank you for what you said. I think short of having video of us in bed together she probably won't get a criminal charge but already she's had to tell her organization about the charges and have it made public. So even on that level it's good. She did lie all the way through but there were some really odd things that she let slide that are huge red flags to someone experienced in these types of sexual assault situations.

Thank you @C j - I think I might be able to imagine the words and I thank you for them lol!!! Yes, I think to believe she was a decent human being might have made it easier in some ways but yes, I believe you are correct and she is not capable of any feeling capacity for others. How and why in the world does a person like this end up becoming a therapist?

Thank you all so much for all your support. I can't find the words to say how much it's meant to me.

 

[City Slicker]

I wanted to give an update and again thank everyone for your support.

Today I met with the prosecution team. It took close to four hours.

On the way out, they took me to show me the trial room, the public gallery and where everyone sits, where the lawyers will sit etc. They did a really good job with the questions, I was sort of all over with my time line but now I know what questions they will be asking and it helped me narrow down the flow of the time frame.

The abuser started by denying all charges. First she stated she didn't know me. Then somewhere in the process she admitted she knew who I was. Then somewhere after that she admitted that she had 'invited' me to live with her... All the way to the point where she needed to admit the sexual abuse and that's where she stopped. She's denying all of that.

Further ( hold onto your hats) she's saying that back then, her association had no written provision against the sexual assault of patients and so even if she did it she can't be held accountable for things that weren't in her association's disciplinary code back then.

The prosecutor today said that that argument was ridiculous and that practitioners knew that it was not ok to have sex with clients whether it was written down or not.

I think also for her to admit it would mean leaving herself open to future criminal charges, she probably thinks she hasn't much choice except to deny. What a system eh - if she admits it and tells the truth things could go even worse for her.

I liked their team and I got the sense they believed me which seems like a stupid thing to focus on but today for some reason it mattered to me that they believed me. I didn't ask because I know it's almost beside the point for them.

I meet with them again around Christmas and run through everything again.

I feel a bit stunned with a major-ass headache threatening so I am headed out for a bike-ride because I feel like some speedy-sweating but not too much thumping that running causes lol. I am not a drinking girl but I sure could use one right now!! Never mind, bike-ride instead. A gorgeous day and a beautiful dog to curl up with.