marlborogold
New Here
Hi, sorry if this is a ramble but I need to get this off my chest somehow - I think I may have been molested during childhood. I was around A LOT of adult figures when I was younger since my parents both worked and mainly other adults looked after me. Some of these are extremely shameful to admit!
Some things I do/experience which I have realised aren’t common include:
Some things I do/experience which I have realised aren’t common include:
- Extreme fear of pregnancy from a very young age
- Not being able to use the bathroom in public places or even ask where it was (so I would wet myself as a child)
- Being essentially selectively mute for a year when I was 6-7
- Bad body image / insecurity / developing anorexia later on
- Feeling uncomfortable when I have a period, boobs or developed sexual organs
- Vivid dreams about being SAd by people I know and (once) wondering whether it actually happened (waking up naked and wondering how I could’ve taken my clothes off)
- hyper sexuality & sexual knowledge as a child more so than any of my peers / early masturbation
- Getting sexually aroused when listening to others talk about their SA experiences
- From a very young age, watching “violent” or “forced” porn
- Extreme discomfort around men and flirting with men / any sexual interactions with them and a general gut-wrenching sensation when I think of or am about to experience intimacy with men