Rescuers - A Want To Be Saved

[becvan]

What I was trying to say was if you wanted to stop being "rescued" well then you would need to work out why it was you felt you wanted to be "rescued" in the first instance.

Just quickly and a little off topic but relevant - by acceptance I mean believing what happened to you, that it was real, and by not trying to put it out of your mind trying to think it did not happen.

Perhaps, perhaps not. I know I didn't need to know at first, it did come with time however....

LOL, that was what I was referring to about acceptance. Some things still are not real to me. As if it was someone else's story or a dream.. anything but part of my reality. Or simply avoid avoid avoid... I agree it is relevant.

*sighs* Have I mentioned how much these thread highlight how much more work I have to do? :rolleyes:

bec

 

[Cindy]

When I was experiencing my abuse I struggled with wanting to be rescued and what was I doing wrong. As many of you have stated, I was silent - so how could the rescue even take place?

The phantasy of a rescue I held onto for a while in therapy but soon let go of it. All the abuse had happened and nothing was going to change that. My new favorite saying is "It is what it is.". It is the past, and now it will never happen again because I will get out of the situation as fast as my feet will carry me.

The forgiveness thing, I can't get my thoughts through this one. I absolutely can not, at this time, forgive the people who abused me. They were cruel manipulative people. I don't feel I need to forgive myself because I don't believe at the time I knew what was happening or how to deal with it. Now I have radar to recognize mal treatment and if it ever happens again, I understand the piece about forgiving myself for letting it happen again.

Just my two cents.

 

[morgan]

I have an unhealthy need to be a rescuer and sometimes I act on it. I never realized it could be hurtful to the other person though. I am currently working on this in therapy but have yet to overcome it. I thought I only wanted to help but I am learning more and more everyday. This forum has been very good for me. I just hope my rescuing hasn't caused anyone any harm.