Resident Psychiatrist Is Not A Therapist

[Sideways]

Sometimes, for me, reistance to a new therapeutic relationship has played out in odd ways. I only bring that up because of your description of her outfit, which reminds me of a pdoc I had for quite a while who used to swan into the office in the most hideously expensive outfits with a different pair of 3" heals every week and a matching pedicure. Pfft, our priorites were obviously poles apart.

When I let those sorts of issues and prejudgments I had go, she turned out to be pretty competent at her job.

While a relationship is developing with a new T, they often shy away from putting words in your mouth. I can imagine that even a first year resident is wise to the fact that 'triggered' gets bandied about meaning all sorts of things these days, and it would really (like, reeeeally) get up my goat if a T started educating me about this and that before getting to know me and how far through the therapy process I am (and the number of years a person has been in therapy isn't always a good gauge).

Just playing the devils advocate there. Maybe she's as useless as tits on a bull, but if she's all you've got to work with at this stage, it's worth giving her a red hot go. Sometimes they surprise us... More often they don't, but sometimes we do get lucky.

 

[Dana1010]

it's worth giving her a red hot go. Sometimes they surprise us...

Yeah, last time I did this, it wound up being a nightmare, and I'm still kicking myself for not trusting my initial hunch.

 

[BlueOrange]

How did it go wrong last time?

I find that I'm able to be helped by a wider range of people after talking through the specifics with folks here. Hopefully, we might have that in common.

 

[Kailani]

I am In The same boat; my insurance covers therapists but in this area all marriage family. I tried but two said i need a PTSD specialist and the nearest one is three hours away. Now I'm too busy with school. Could you talk to your insurance company? Sometimes they will make exceptions according to your needs. It might help if you could get the psychiatrist or a past therapist to talk to them, that's what I was considering and also online trauma skype therapists other than that I was considering PTSD workbooks. I have had bad experiences with psychiatrists and loathe them so I hear ya! So Sorry it sucks right now. Wish there were social workers available to manage this stuff cuz people just slip through the cracks.

 

[Dana1010]

How did it go wrong last time?

She was just a terrible therapist all around.

I find that I'm able to be helped by a wider range of people after talking through the specifics with folks here. Hopefully, we might have that in common.

The folks here on this site? Yeah, they actually want to help. I find them much more helpful than some of the therapists that I've seen. In fact, leaving the session with this psychiatrist I just saw, I found myself thinking, "I think I could administer better therapy than that without a day of formal training." Am I really that good? Are they really that bad? And then it dawned on me -- no, they're not that bad. It isn't that hard to do what a therapist needs to do, especially if they're received training. It's no coincidence that you're leaving sessions without having talked about the things you went in to talk about. The answer is: They. Don't. Want. To. Hear. It.

 

[BlueOrange]

Yikes. That sounds discouraging as all hell :(

 

[ShodokanJenn]

When my fifth therapist felt I should have EMDR, he called my insurance company to explain the referral. Because they didn't cover any EMDR practitioners in my area, they were legally required to cover an out-of-network provider. It was a pain to keep up with the paperwork and phone calls, and then the EMDR went all wrong, but I DID get the chance to see that therapist. Do you think you could get a referral from the resident to a qualified therapist?

 

[joeylittle]

When my fifth therapist felt I should have EMDR, he called my insurance company to explain the referral. Because they didn't cover any EMDR practitioners in my area, they were legally required to cover an out-of-network provider.

Just echoing this. If you haven't done this yet, you should.

Part of it was just ignorance, though.

We might have gotten into this debate before - but if you don't want to be in therapy, then don't be in therapy. How do you know it was ignorance? Did the person say, 'oh - trigger - I've never heard that term before'? Or are you intuiting it? There's nothing wrong with intuition, but it can be pretty colored by confirmation bias. If you went in there expecting it to not go well, there may not have been any other possible outcome.

Have you ever had a therapist that you did feel productive with?

 

[Dana1010]

Yikes. That sounds discouraging as all hell :(

Sorry--it's not my intention to bum anyone out. Obviously, I know deep down that it's possible that there is a therapist out there somewhere who could be helpful, which is why I keep searching through the bitching and moaning.

Do you think you could get a referral from the resident to a qualified therapist?

This is the best idea I've heard in a while.

If you went in there expecting it to not go well, there may not have been any other possible outcome.

I went in rather desperate for it to go well, actually. I was really hoping she would be adequate.

Have you ever had a therapist that you did feel productive with?

When I had better insurance, I had one therapist who I had some productive sessions with. At the time I thought she sucked -- after seeing what kind of crap is out there, I would crawl over broken glass to get back to her. I had some of the same problems with her, however. Sometimes I would come in and she'd look frazzled and she'd start playing games to get out of hearing about the hard stuff, steering the conversation.

 

[BlueOrange]

I wasn't bummed out for very long. Mainly, I wanted to acknowledge your experience - I wanted to make sure that you didn't feel isolated or alone.

I feel nervous when you say you were desperate for help. When I feel desperate for help, I get discouraged more easily. These days, I have a doctor, a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Each has strengths and weaknesses.

My fear is that your standards are too high. I know that I needed to lower my standards before I could be helped. If you're willing to consider that possibility, then the question is, "What allowances could be made to enable me to get something useful from this person?"

 

[Dana1010]

"What allowances could be made to enable me to get something useful from this person?"

I don't think my standards are too high. When I hear someone on here say they have a wonderful therapist, what does that mean? They listen to you when you talk? They follow your train of thought? They ask relevant questions? They don't try to shut you up to give themselves a break? Okay, you don't have a "wonderful" therapist, you have an adequate one. The field is skewed so far into shit, it's making adequate look like top 10%.

I need to be able to talk about the things that bother me, and I need the therapist to engage in the conversation and not try to shut me up. Sorry, but those are basics for therapy, and I can't make "allowances" for a therapist who can't do the bare minimum they should be able to do. If a friend without a day of training can do them, there's no reason why a professional therapist can't.

 

[BlueOrange]

I love that reply. I also have a meeting in 5 mins, so will have to attempt the questions later.