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Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

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Therapist said, “I can’t think about things like that or I’ll have anxiety for days.”
What I would like to say: “So, are you telling me that you can’t worry your pretty little head about it?”

So, I can talk to my doctor about international situations that terrify me. I get to see him about twice a year...LOL.
 
Not small accomplishments. Or moving forward in a good direction. Or trust involved.

I just promised a kid I can’t stop missing I will try to hang in there. A decade old lies not even living for can make true.
 
Do you have any awareness at all of stacking the odds against me successfully having therapy after you. Its on me and my responsibility and I have no doubt that you intentions were good. Its just a shame that you felt obliged to fumble in the dark knowledge wise whilst my life disintegrated more than it already was.
 
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I can't stop myself from saying that stuff. It just comes right out. I don't have to worry about it a...

I appreciate you and all you do for me and I think you are one of the kindest, sweetest people I...

I nicknamed my T too. I think it might be common...in my case, it was a code word for the T!

I really liked how you genuinely laughed when I - in a badly dissociated state - joked how f*cking ann...

You made me laugh!
 
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In T I complain about some kind of inner conflict....
T says: Why don't you ask inside?
I shake my head, No.
I think but don't say this: Honestly, I really don't want to know! I hate this.....really....I'm fxking in charge not my inner child..or parts or whatever....some part of my personality has to be in control...I have the job.....at least I need to appear in control....even if I don't feel that way!
and I'm the adult here, right?...someone has drive the bus...you don't ask the kids to take the steering wheel of a moving bus do you? An accident might happen.......if I listen to my inner child...the day would be totally derailed......really, we'd be playing video games, eating ice cream and mac and cheese and cookies and pop, sitting in bed watching TV and playing on the compute, and playing around getting nothing done and you'd, my T, be loving it....
me and parts playing...…
I'm too creative with this shit....childhood has potential to be way too much fun....
and the result if I ask might be ...I'm smelling food rot, bills ignored for today, and looking at a sink full of dirty dishes, and a floor full of dirty clothes....getting nothing accomplished....
.....that's called nonfunctional.


Done. Moving on to next issue...……..
 
Self directed therapy. It can't work because if you leave it up to me, I'll never get well, I won't let you. This is what they all do now, client directed. My daughter is in this program and they do it there and I'm like "so the inmates run the asylum." That's what it means. Everyone has lost their fu*king minds. My therapist pushes me though, but I have to remind her. Then she denies it and says it's all me lol.
 
T-Everyone has parts.....
Me-okay if I buy into this parts thing, you want to introduce them to me? (thinking that would cut out a lot of therapy sessions and save money)
T- Responds- I don’t know who they are......(WTF- wasn’t expecting that lame answer)
Me- thinking- You are telling me I have parts but you can’t tell me who/ what they are? Your getting paid to know that answer! And you’ve been in practice for a while. So if you don’t know them, how do you know I got parts? Dumb dumb dumb!!!
 
to my ex-therapist. Thank you for creating a situation where I was totally dependent on you. Thank you for reassuring me over and over and over you weren't going anywhere then you left, and treated me badly the weeks before you told me to distance yourself from me. Thank you for the re-traumatization this caused that I have to spend time working on. Thank you for the screwed up relationship you showed me. Thank you so much for the additional suffering.

To my new therapist. Thank you for being upfront, letting me know your boundaries, letting me know that you want to help me learn to stand on my own two feet.
 
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