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Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

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Long version redacted: Do not insult my friends. Or imply they are not good enough.

The other way around. The formal system is full of morons. Them? Hella good at leadership darlings... that would always modestly tell you the long list of everything they absolutely fail at, or simply smile and switch topics to the need dones of the day.

The other reason I think the rest of your team are way better at their work is they have hella respect for out of papers relations and the silence between words.
 
T: if the paranoid delusions get worse, you should contact [the psychiatrist]

Secret Me: Paranoid, delusional, and newly verbal... did you think I would keep it to myself?
 
Thank you for being honest. You gave up on me. You will never understand how much that hurt to hear. I’m glad my note gave you the kick in the pants you needed but my faith really is shaken. Thank you for inviting me to do more of the same if you start to give up again. But umm, I don’t know if I can always do that. Someone needs to be the therapist here and since my insurance keeps getting the bills, it’s going to have to be you.
Sort yourself out.
Don’t just skim that fancy looking book, read it, too. Get more training. Ask colleagues how to help me.

Pitter patter! I’m coming up on the most difficult time of the year.

I need to know if you’re going to be trustworthy. If not I need to figure out how to prop myself up and not plan on you being there at all. I’m worried that the answer is going to be no, I can’t trust you.
 
Therapist: "How are you feeling today?"

Me: "Really?"

Therapist: "DBT or CPT will make EMDR and PTSD for your MHTC."

Me: "What?"

Therapist: "Your EMDR. It will DID if you don't hurry and cPTSD your ACT."

Me: "I feel like shit and you're acronyms aren't helping."
 
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