Relationship Rhino Skin, Brick Walls, Water Off A Duck's Back?!

[Rob1]

Thinking about this too - I realized (old news to him of course) that I can't relax around him.

i know what you mean. Sometimes I feel bad for feeling tense because I think, "This is my wife! Why aren't I just calm and having a good time?" And then there are times where she notices that I'm tense and gets her feelings hurt. But it just is what it is. I've found if I fight the tension and put on a big smile and start trying to have fun, my jokes are forced, my smile is creepy, and its just makes things real weird.

I certainly look forward to and really try to soak up those good times.

I have also put my foot down. I do not tolerate her taking out her anger on me. It is working, slowly. She is starting to think about the consequences of her words and actions on our relationship. Every now and again she needs a gentle reminder.

SeekingSerenity, how did you do this? I have a wife with PTSD as well and she frequently takes her anger out on me in very hurtful ways. How did you deal with her anger and pain sensitively in order to not hurt her further, being already so fragile, while at the same time not being a punching bag? Just looking for some practical tips...

 

[Eleanor]

How did you deal with her anger and pain sensitively in order to not hurt her further, being already so fragile, while at the same time not being a punching bag? Just looking for some practical tips...

Me too. Me leaving the scene the other day was an epic fail... A huge escalator. I'll do it again if I have to, but, I'd rather have a better "out."