Saw Abusers Name in Paper.

[SunnyBrookFarm]

Struggling -
I have had much more time under my belt where others have known - but my mom still doesn't know - so if it were to come up - it would be an issue. I personally can't prosecute him anyway - so it's a fruitless issue. I'm so sorry you had to see so many convictions - but if the legal system couldn't stop him - you wouldn't have been able to either.

 

[her_indoors43]

i understand the power of guilt.....'.if only id come forward no one esle would of been hurt stuff....'

if i had come forward.....with my trauma/..there would still be alot more people alive......the person who hurt me...went on and killed alot of people.... i escaped somehow but the girl with me didnt....she is dead....

um actuly....power of guilt...think ive spent along time not enjoying life..because i survived that night and she didnt/....

anyway...:Hug_emoticon:strugs we are not responsible for who they hurt....its there disease/illness/sickness.....how many would be alive today had i come forward??/.....and well....im sorryto those ..anyhoo.......new day today i got heap to go do..pack up daughters house and help her move so..my day will be spent busy....we already behind by an hour..lol...hugs struggs...(he that rhyms)....

 

[strugglingdad]

You are right. What's done is done. How I deal with it is what has to matter. And I am going to deal with it. Done trying to bury stuff in my head that keeps coming back. I will deal and then be done. I have to.

 

[Irton Pike]

my understaning is that horrible traumatic events build neural networks in our brains that go straight to our basic survival mechanism, cutting out the rational bits. The fight flight response that keeps you alive, but not always appropriate. With many people, this response calms down. It all depends on the nature of the trauma. For example, I read that over 80% of POW end up with PTSD. Whereas it is 30% for RTAs. I reckon this means we pretty much all have the capacity to develop PTSD. (This also means all the bullying dickheads who give us a hard time really are massive idiots!). I digress. So, in the light of this, your response to reading your abusers name was that your brain kicked in to survival mode and got you ready to run, fight, or freeze. Which is normal. It has done what millions of years of evolution have programmed it to do Not always helpful but it is functioning as it should! If you don't want it to do that then you have to learn different responses to your triggers. Brains are great at learning stuff! But as with learning anything it takes time, patience and lots of hard work. You'll also be needing lots of love, understanding and reassurance from your family and friends and most importantly, from yourself. Give yourself time to learn new behaviours.

 

[Yumeko-chan]

Last week, for some reason I decided to Google my molester/ex's eBay name, since searching under his real name didn't result in any real results. I found a site that he has a profile on, taking pictures of (wanna-be?) models. I wanted to strangle him right through the screen. What's not to say that he's not touching some of those models, huh? Or maybe he knows that job is the closest he'll ever get to a girl again =P

That pic also confirmed what I'd heard about him cutting his hair and bleaching it (and apparently getting contacts). I showed one of my online friends the picture and the friend thought he was looking at a girl :rofl: Certainly brightened my mood. Though it still sickened me to see his face. If he thinks changing his appearance means he can hide or start over or whatever, he's mistaken. Even with the different hair, I recognized that face immediately. Ugh.