Saying goodbye..

[Freida]

What is healthy and not unhealthy

this ^^^^ is the question to talk to your T about. You might be translating your relationship with her as unhealthy because it is scary getting attached to someone/anyone? So if you get away from her that scary feeling might go away? But - what if this is actually moving forward in learning how to trust someone? Maybe she is good for you?

I think the first thing is to have a conversation with her about your fears and how you are feeling in general. If she is any good she can either say yes, you are too attached and refer you to someone else or help you see this isn't a bad thing

And yes - this all can be horribly overwhelming. That's when it's time to sit back and do some good self care and just rest.... It's ok to take a break

 

[Rumors]

So, just a question but when you quit does that solve the issue?
Perhaps printing this out and taking it in and handing it to her would be helpful. I am certainly "attached" to my therapist. She is awesome and I likely wouldn't be have made the progress that I have without her commitment and dedication. However, I realize it is she is a professional and there are boundaries. If I felt like you do, I would talk to my therapist about it before I just quit...

 

[NightSky]

If I wasn’t attached to my T I wouldn’t be able to risk the vulnerability I do with her. I was with a technically very good T for 2 years. I “liked” her enough I guess. But i was not attached. And I never changed. I never was able to let my guard down with her. I had to leave because I wanted to save money for maternity leave and literally walked in on my last session and said this is my last session and had zero feelings about it.
It’s a world of a difference with a T I feel attached to. I’ve talked to her about it tons. She assures me it’s ok because part of my issues are attachment issues and I need a healthy attachment for now. I trust in time when I am stronger and healthier the need will decrease.
It can be excruciating but it also has been, so far, tremendously healing as well. I’ve been with her almost 3 years. I’ve come SOOOO much further in that time than with my first T and I attribute it to our relationship.
Please talk to your T and make that part of your work.

 

[Justmehere]

The grief you feel won’t go away by getting rid of the therpaist. Cause it’s not really about her anyhow. But the past. Your younger self.

Grief is progress, and if you stick it out and use therapy to help you cope, it will likely get better. A lot better.

 

[Orange Phone]

Hello all,
Thanks for your replies...
I actually saw my T twice this week. And we are all good. Not even sure we talked about the "attachment" but about other things. And what was going on. Part of my issue was I was actually thinking WAY too much about PTSD, therapy etc. I was not living life.. as she pointed out, I've always had PTSD (did not know it) so what changed... my knowing it and yes some worse symptoms. And I've been blessed to live a very full life (to a large degree). Part of it also was losing my job a month ago. I was very out of balance. I went down some rabbit hole. So getting myself more balanced. It has helped. Getting focused on my goals. And yes the relationship is part of everything. But really it should be manageable (for me). My "young girl" was pushing boundaries and my T held firm (thankfully). But its (child's needs / pain etc) good its coming out. And really, my "young girl" has never come out for anyone (and I am 50) and its nice she finally found someone she trusts. So when dealing with the trauma I need my outside life more "stable" and balanced so working on that.

I did not start out in therapy knowing I had PTSD and am REALLY grateful my T is a trauma person. When my symptoms in my life got worse she was able to help. I really had no idea what was wrong. She knew.

Again thanks for all your help.
Sarah