School Noticed There Is Something A Tad Bit Wrong With Me

[Deleted member 28403]

So, a bit of a summary.

I've had two visits to the school psychologist because of recent breakdowns. E.g. crying for hours, and not doing anything through the whole biology class. Also generally acting in what you could call wierd manners. I mean, somehow I even forgot that I cried in school, or that I had a very near breakdown, due to other stress.

So, now the school psychologist is sort of aware that I self harm, and sort of aware about my issues with mental stability. Especially as I ended up shaking and nearly crying, and also going into a slightly manic self-harm state mid-conversation... Whew. Slap me with a fish please, from time to time.

The teachers will be alerted as to what to do in the situations that could happen, basically, I was required to say some of the situations that are more common, and to describe panic attack states and so on. So generally the school will know what will help and what will not.

There has been a lot of stuff lately happening, and it had quite an effect on me.

I guess that is it, any advice on what to do, or what school could do? I'm sort of not good at being helped.

 

[Stickler]

Ask the teachers to write down the basics of what was covered and what part of the textbooks you need to go over?

Not full notes but just enough that you can study at home. That way if you were busy being mentally out of it in class, you can at least get a chance to cover it when you are doing better. If they can give you what is to be covered in the week in advance, you can try to get ahead a bit.

 

[ladee]

Wow @Saelben... your school sounds so caring and trying to help.. Here in the states we would be 'labeled' then hidden and lost in paperwork, never to be heard from again, much less be able to finish our education...This is wonderful news... And maybe now is the time to take baby steps in letting outside sources help you....They apparently see your potential and want you to get your education and are willing to help with that.... I have no suggestions at this time, I'm sure others will, but am so happy to hear this.... lots of :hug:'s for you !!!!!

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I am not really having problems with picking up the stuff to study.

It's just that I'm not used to telling anyone that I am not a stable smart student, just a high functioning person, that can fail

 

[Chi Square Latte]

Hey Saelben!

I know it must seem pretty scary, or even intrusive with the school psychologists getting involved, but really this is a great step. I also think you took a big step in allowing yourself to go into detail about how you are affected/feel/symptoms with your school psych. I'm proud of you :)

Maybe its worth thinking about what you would allow/like your teachers help you with. It doesn't have to be emotional stuff (all they can do is listen to be honest in that situation) but what about academic stuff? I don't know how you feel about this suggestion but, how about talking to teachers you get on with, or even the teachers where you struggle in their classes and have a conversation about how best to aid your academic progress? That's the key: your academic progress.

While your teachers and the school want you to feel as comfortable as you can emotionally, there is only so much they can do. A school is there to teach you, and you are there to learn, so most of the support that can be offered from your teachers is so you can still make progress in your studies. At the end of the day, you want to be able to learn and achieve, despite all these things going on in your emotional and personal life. So for example why don't you let your biology teacher know that you aren't able to pay attention in class (though if you have told your school psych, they will pass it on)? They could come up with a strategy where you are given the notes at the end of the lesson for you to read when you feel like you can study, or a tutorial at lunch time or after school for a one to one session so you can be brought up to speed?

It's strategies such as the example I gave in which your teachers are likely to help you. As for the panic attack side of things, teachers will try and not bring up content or put you in situations where you feel panicked. I don't know what these are, but if they are situations that can't really be avoided such as crowds, the school might get creative, or have a protocol in place. You might be given a safe place to go, or a designated person to see when those feelings arise. They might even be advised by the school psych how best to deal with situations where a panic attack occurs.

Also, with regards to the self harming, if the school psych. knows your teachers may be informed too. I don't want to alarm you with that information, but I want to be honest with you. I used to teach at a secondary school, hence why I'm boring you with all this information. But they aren't go to ask you to roll your sleeves (or check wherever you harm yourself) every time you walk into the class. But they will let someone know that they have seen self harm marks on you, but teachers would do this with any child regardless of whether there was any other indicators of distress. I'm telling you this because they care about you and they don't want you to suffer, they want to help you.

There will be an awkward conversation, if your school psych. hasn't already had that with you regarding cleaning your cuts so they don't get infected, and using clean utensils- or a conversation regarding the method you use to self-harm. This isn't going to be a random teacher, it will be someone in your school who is the designated person for that kind of thing. They aren't telling you this kind of stuff because they're condoning what you're doing, they're being realistic. Everyone would be very happy if you could just stop doing that to yourself in the blink of an eye. The reality is that there is a personal journey you need to go to in order to be able to stop, so there maybe times where you feel like you need to engage in that behaviour. So you need be safe (as safe as you can be).

I hope I haven't bombarded you with information, I just really wanted to tell you what happens on the other side as I've been involved in some cases at the school I used to work at. Don't rule out the idea about having conversations regarding practical solutions that could be put in place so you can still try to learn while you heal. I'm doing my PhD and I asked to have a discussion with my mentor so we could plan a strategy that fits with my needs, and it really helps me with my writing for my thesis.

I really hope your teachers are able to support you, and I hope you start to feel a bit better in school :)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Chi Square Latte
I talked to the psychologist regarding self harm, I've been trying to stop it for a long while, years. And I progressed quite a bit. So the psychologist is aware I know what to do.

I wrote a mail that was a sort of a summary of things and situations to avoid, e.g. some topics and similar. I generally have years of theraphy behind me, so other than the shaking and a lot of need to self harm I had to surpress, I managed an okay conversation with the psychologist.

What I find scarier is the option I directly asked not to happen, which would be alerting my parents about it, as they are extremely unhelpful. So generally that they don't find out much, as they stress me out more and put me down for having panic attacks or being depressed.

It's hard to bombard me with info, but I'm replying to a few things at the same time :)

Thank you for the response

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Okay, so the school psychologist left her position, so the same school psychologist doesn't work in school anymore. Actually. Currently there is no school psychologist, making it a tiny bit harder.

But yea, I've been moving in the direction of solving problems and coordinating with teachers, and am meeting some understanding for a 1 month wave of sudden bad grades, which is getting better! Finally got some As and Bs again, after a month of getting only Fs and Ds...

Just seeing now, anxiety was shadowing my cognition a lot.I was seeing teachers as evil and constantly angry at me because I wasn't realizing it was the younger me feeling. A bit easier now that I recognize that

Time to fix the rest of grades now