Miss Lissa
New Here
Hi everyone!
Been trolling around here for a few years and thought I should take advantage of the support.
I am 32 and live in Canada with my boyfriend (common law partner) (40) who suffers from PTSD.
He was diagnosed after the London Bombings of 2007 where he was a first responder and saw some terrible things in the aftermath of the terrorist attack. He doesn't talk about it much but I've read his transcript from the inquest so I have an idea of what sights and sounds he suffered.
Added to this, he is also a widower. His first wife suffered from cystic fibrosis and died fairly suddenly at the age of 32 only 6 years ago (and only 2 years after the bombings).
We met online while he was getting ready to immigrate to Canada. We quickly hit it off and have now been together for two and a half years.
His job in Canada didn't work out so he is now retired and a "Gentleman of Leisure", as we joke. We have decided that's probably for the best with his PTSD. Thankfully money isn't an issue since his wife left him an inheritance. Now we're just waiting for our application for Permanent Residency to come through.
Some days are better than others. Most are good. When he's down he feels and says that I deserve better and talks about being cheated from a normal life because of his PTSD and the death of his wife. He can be very cynical, which I struggle with. Sometimes he talks about getting married and having children, other times he says he doesn't want to do either since I (and our potential children) deserve better.
That's probably the hardest of all since it feels like no matter what I say he doesn't listen.
I love him very much and have decided to work things through with him, and for him. I try to read and understand as much as I can in hopes that we can achieve as much of a normal life as possible.
As I tell him, "I've tied my little boat to yours - where you go I go. If the seas get rough, we'll go through it together. I'll just put on our life jackets."
Thanks. Hope to help and get help from the forum.
Been trolling around here for a few years and thought I should take advantage of the support.
I am 32 and live in Canada with my boyfriend (common law partner) (40) who suffers from PTSD.
He was diagnosed after the London Bombings of 2007 where he was a first responder and saw some terrible things in the aftermath of the terrorist attack. He doesn't talk about it much but I've read his transcript from the inquest so I have an idea of what sights and sounds he suffered.
Added to this, he is also a widower. His first wife suffered from cystic fibrosis and died fairly suddenly at the age of 32 only 6 years ago (and only 2 years after the bombings).
We met online while he was getting ready to immigrate to Canada. We quickly hit it off and have now been together for two and a half years.
His job in Canada didn't work out so he is now retired and a "Gentleman of Leisure", as we joke. We have decided that's probably for the best with his PTSD. Thankfully money isn't an issue since his wife left him an inheritance. Now we're just waiting for our application for Permanent Residency to come through.
Some days are better than others. Most are good. When he's down he feels and says that I deserve better and talks about being cheated from a normal life because of his PTSD and the death of his wife. He can be very cynical, which I struggle with. Sometimes he talks about getting married and having children, other times he says he doesn't want to do either since I (and our potential children) deserve better.
That's probably the hardest of all since it feels like no matter what I say he doesn't listen.
I love him very much and have decided to work things through with him, and for him. I try to read and understand as much as I can in hopes that we can achieve as much of a normal life as possible.
As I tell him, "I've tied my little boat to yours - where you go I go. If the seas get rough, we'll go through it together. I'll just put on our life jackets."
Thanks. Hope to help and get help from the forum.
