Suing my secondary school. PTSD from being groomed by teacher and sexual assaulted.
20 years ago i was groomed at school beginning in year 10. He recruited 2 boys in my class to get and give him my number after he had began to show me some attention. My dad is pretty much absent, siblings moved out of home and mum worked nights… so i was very vulnerable. I had also been a victim of abuse and whiteness so me domestic violence, death and just an incredibly unhappy home.
Over the summer holidays he messaged me, made me feel less lonely. In class he sat me directly to his right. I noticed his desk moved closer etc. he sought me out, helped me with homework privately after school in his classroom. We drove off in his car one night. Had sex. I was 15.
I turned 16, then in my house when mum was at work. Then the final time at his, his wife came home not long after. She suspected.
A few months later it ended, i got called into heads office as the messaging had been reported. I denied was so ashamed.
I remember this time I could barely crawl out of bed to go to school. My anxiety hit the roof. Every time i closed my eyes i lived it. Blaming myself for being disgusting. I ended up with few friends. Heavily drinking, pissed for my leaving exams. It basically ruined my chances. I dropped out of college, took a stupid amount of drugs (should be dead) , always in low paid work despite being really intelligent.
I dropped out if uni due to anxiety. And have basically accomplished nothing, am financially dependent, always have been.
I am very distant from my family, have no close friends. Currently suicidal.
To go back.. So this teacher left school and married a girl in the year below me. She was 16 when they ran off. This made national headlines, i had the local paper knock on my door several times. I vowed i would never tell a sole… I don’t want the shame/gossip all around.
8 weeks ago this same school lost a civil suit, a student after me had been groomed and assaulted by another teacher! She won a six figure compensation. I contacted the same lawyer and am now pursuing my case.
But this has made me a mess. I feel disappointed, embarrassed, disgusted in myself and sad that I have never had the courage to achieve anything. I have no financial security, will never marry. I have a warped sense of reality, continually disassociate and am never happy. I feel so lonely and suicidal. I have 2 children hi said goodbye too last night but couldn’t finish it as the pain was too much. I am toying with not going through with it, or telling the whole world and shouting out that i am a survivor. But not having the support around me holds me back… a sick cycle. Its a ramble, a lot. So thanks for reading.
20 years ago i was groomed at school beginning in year 10. He recruited 2 boys in my class to get and give him my number after he had began to show me some attention. My dad is pretty much absent, siblings moved out of home and mum worked nights… so i was very vulnerable. I had also been a victim of abuse and whiteness so me domestic violence, death and just an incredibly unhappy home.
Over the summer holidays he messaged me, made me feel less lonely. In class he sat me directly to his right. I noticed his desk moved closer etc. he sought me out, helped me with homework privately after school in his classroom. We drove off in his car one night. Had sex. I was 15.
I turned 16, then in my house when mum was at work. Then the final time at his, his wife came home not long after. She suspected.
A few months later it ended, i got called into heads office as the messaging had been reported. I denied was so ashamed.
I remember this time I could barely crawl out of bed to go to school. My anxiety hit the roof. Every time i closed my eyes i lived it. Blaming myself for being disgusting. I ended up with few friends. Heavily drinking, pissed for my leaving exams. It basically ruined my chances. I dropped out of college, took a stupid amount of drugs (should be dead) , always in low paid work despite being really intelligent.
I dropped out if uni due to anxiety. And have basically accomplished nothing, am financially dependent, always have been.
I am very distant from my family, have no close friends. Currently suicidal.
To go back.. So this teacher left school and married a girl in the year below me. She was 16 when they ran off. This made national headlines, i had the local paper knock on my door several times. I vowed i would never tell a sole… I don’t want the shame/gossip all around.
8 weeks ago this same school lost a civil suit, a student after me had been groomed and assaulted by another teacher! She won a six figure compensation. I contacted the same lawyer and am now pursuing my case.
But this has made me a mess. I feel disappointed, embarrassed, disgusted in myself and sad that I have never had the courage to achieve anything. I have no financial security, will never marry. I have a warped sense of reality, continually disassociate and am never happy. I feel so lonely and suicidal. I have 2 children hi said goodbye too last night but couldn’t finish it as the pain was too much. I am toying with not going through with it, or telling the whole world and shouting out that i am a survivor. But not having the support around me holds me back… a sick cycle. Its a ramble, a lot. So thanks for reading.
