Relationship Seems To Be Pulling Away Even More.

[MoeX]

My suffer is about a month and a half into taking his meds. Has been going to group therapy to learn about PTSD which should be completed next week with the supporter portion of the program.

Oddly enough I feel as if he is distancing himself from me more. We dont often have conversations like we used to. Dont spend time together anymore. If I say I miss him I get no answer. A lot of the time it seems that he has nothing to say to me unless it concerns our daughter. I cant help thinking that he's done with the relationship and just doesnt know how to tell me. Ive point blank asked him if he just wants me to let him go and the only thing he says is "No". But to me actions say otherwise.

My question is if anyone has noticed differences after their suffer started getting help? Have they distanced more, or isolated? Do they value alone time more. I'm just confused. Any input helps. Thanks

 

[Nicolette]

Maybe he is feeling 'distant' from the medication or maybe is trying to process what he is working on in therapy?

If he says "No" to being done I feel it wise to take it on face value for the short term. While re-assurance would make you feel better maybe give him some space from emotional pressures and, after time, not tell him you "miss him" but pick one thing which is bothering you and tell him. Be specific giving him a chance to deal with your relationship while coping with therapy. Therapy is not just a course, it is then dealing with the past and trying to heal while learning to manage PTSD.

 

[nursenurse]

And truly, he may not know what he wants, or how to articulate it if he does. I agree with Nicolette. Sufferers can't seem to deal with the whole relationship issue when thrown at them all at once. After reading what Nicolette posted, I thought of why my relationship with my guy is working, at least for the time being.

He is not currently in therapy (PTSD diagnosed many years ago, over which he has had help). I think the biggest reason is the way I have learned to handle situations and feelings. He does not get off the hook, at all, if I am upset about something. However, I now pick my battles, as anyone should do in any relationship. I make it specific, and targeted. So he's not getting the whole garden of what may be issues, but the one rosebud of what is really bothering me, and therefore what is really important. Instead of being overwhelmed, he can focus on that one issue, then I am validated, and we both can do what we can to overcome the issue. It is not always successful, but for me, the success is in his willingness to listen, and in his willingness to try.

If your guy can do that while he is coping and learning to heal, then I think you have a shot. But if after awhile your needs are still going unmet, you may have to rethink things. I hope his therapy is ongoing. Keep reading these forums, for your own sake, and perhaps obtain some outside counselling for you too. It's hard, but it can get better. PTSD is always with him, and therefore, with you.

 

[MoeX]

Thanks ladies for the input. I am really trying to take this one day at a time and be suportive but sometimes I get very frustrated with the whole situation. It doesnt help that he is not much of a talker. I did tell him that once in awhile I do need some kind of reassurance that he does still care and he says that he is willing to try to show that.

I dont think that is asking to much but at this point I honestly dont know. I am going to follow your advice about hanging out here and continuing giving space and helping myself.

Thanks