Self-harm - What Is So Wrong About It?

[whiteraven]

What a great discussion. The unacceptability of self-harm *generally* I think - that is, the judgment about it, before anyone knows the what, why, or how of it - is a societal thing, all tied in to stigma. I think, as many here have said, that it absolutely depends on what it entails and then, additionally, what you're doing to develop better coping skills over time.

I used to cut a lot, but it was *very* superficial and always only to create pain enough to match the emotional pain I was feeling in the moment. Sometimes it wasn't cutting, but scratching or simply intense pressure with a pointed metal object. I still sometimes do it, in very difficult circumstances, but over the years I developed a lot of different and more positive coping skills that I use in place of that.
When I compare the type of self-harm I do to the use of drugs and alcohol and all the other kinds of things people use to cope in this world, it makes me laugh when "professionals" get on me about it. Doesn't even compare.

 

[Journeyman]

What a great discussion. The unacceptability of self-harm *generally* I think - that is, the judgmen...

OK, well, you are the expert, you know, and that's the info. I want. Do you ever dissociate? If so, did you ever cut to kind of stay ground, and not drift?

I'm thinking like my knuckles around a bar on a roller coaster, that intense pressure, and the cut being away of grounding, maybe?

Cutting - wow that's a step that releases emotions. A lot of pain and confusion anger. Cra...

do you think it's like putting something like Ben Gay on a back when you have back pain; the signal is blocked by the stinging sensation to block the worse pain. In this case one is the back; the other psychological/affect?

 

[Casey_03]

@Journeyman It releases endorphins, which can have a calming sensation. That may not be everyone's reason for doing it, but that's one of the physiological side effects of it, and probably a big factor.

 

[Journeyman]

@Journeyman It releases endorphins, which can have a calming sensation. That may no...

makes sense. I got a tattoo; the amazing thing is that it burned so bad at first that I didn't think I could finish. Eventually, it was weird, the pain went away, it sort of numbed out; maybe cutting is like that. I could definitely tell the difference. What would be cool, though is to learn other ways to handle the psychological build up. Trauma does change the brain networking, it's said. Does exercise, music, meditation, anything else work. Do you do any drugs to help. I just curious what works for you.

 

[whiteraven]

OK, well, you are the expert, you know, and that's the info. I want. Do you ever dissociate? If so,...

Hm...no more an "expert" than anyone else here...I dissociate all the time. I am a multiple. I have DID, or dissociative identity disorder. But I don't use cutting as a means to stay grounded, no.

 

[Journeyman]

Hm...no more an "expert" than anyone else here...I dissociate all the time. I am a multiple. I have...

thanks, do you cut, and if so, why do you think you do, or how does it help?

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Parallel example: I have a very physical response to sugar. It gives me a 'high', and then knocks me out. A little like alcohol, actually. But I can't drink anymore because it is havoc on my meds. Now, I also have a significant weight problem and am pre-diabetic. So, I should avoid sugar for those reasons. But sometimes when I am really really low, I have a sugar craving that is extreme, and tied to:

• the way it will affect me chemically
• the way I will feel during - it's complicated, but it is a kind of self punishment. It's not pleasurable, it's a way to hate myself.

Afterwards, I aways am simultaneously in a state of shame, and in a hazy sugar high, then I crash. Which is where the relief actually is.

That's how self-punishment can have a paradoxical effect. It creates physical sensation that is rewarding and provides relief, in some way.

I relate to this COMPLETELY! It's my sugar/carb addiction that keeps me in self-hate mode (in a fairly subtle way), and I also...this is hard to admit...I dig holes in my scalp. They don't show, otherwise I am sure I wouldn't do it. (My hairdresser knows obviously, but she's known me for 15+ years and is pretty much a friend now) I have acrylic nails so they aren't as sharp and don't do as much damage, but I can't seem to stop this time. Usually, I can get the sores healed up, and not do it for a long time. but for some reason, I keep on doing it. It's kind of like biting my nails, and/or cuticles, both of which I used to do...

I do have suicidal ideations when I let anger get to a place of exploding, then I hit myself. It doesn't hurt though...thankfully that happens maybe 2-3 times a year...

 

[Punky143]

I'm glad you posted this; I want to learn. I understand it, but how does it help you? I've had some...

When the mind is spinning so fast and the emotions are unbearable, its SH that slows it down. At least there's actual pain and can be seen. It provides a focus point. Or, a dark part of mine will punish me for being bad and the punishment is SH. She will nag at the rest until we do it so its involved in my disassociation periods.

 

[StellaBlue]

@Journeyman It releases endorphins, which can have a calming sensation. That may not be everyone's reason for doing it, but that's one of the physiological side effects of it, and probably a big factor.

Apparently, this is true of bulimia as well - vomiting causes the release of endorphins.