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Self love and the right to be loved?

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ppppts

Bronze Member
I suffer a lot from time to time, to believe that I’m worthy of love, and that someone actually loves me.

While someone I’ve been with first says one thing, and then does the complete opposit. Though it’s not like lying, it’s still very frustrating...

I feel very jealous and paranoid, I wish I didn’t, but I believe he’s had like an obsession with one of his earlier friends. The more I learn about him, the more it seems that way.

I notice he loves her favourite song, he’s favourite number is her birthday, when he used to talk about her, it was like he became so happy. And when he spoke to her on the phone, he laughed so much, and I never ever make him laugh that way.

He planned to go on a vacation trip with her, but cancelled, and I still thought it was very weird.

And he asked me to go see my parents, and like literally nagged me, asking me so many times to go there on a specific date, like weeks before I was going. We cleaned up the appartment and cleaned the floor and made it seem perfect. When I went, he said he was going to meet a friend (someone else than her) and I tried contacting him, while I was away, getting no answers or really short answers. Later he said that he had lied to me, and it was that friend of him that was in our appartment, and I just had a real big panic attack, thinking something really screwed up was happening.

They had been drinking wine and playing games together, and she left because they had an argue. She forgot her sunglasses here, and he took them and put them in a drawer...

I really don’t know what to think, because I’ve always had a strange feeling he had an obsession with her...

I may just be serious jealous, speculation and paranoia... And many other things making the situation seem a lot more difficult to me.

My heart beats so fast just thinking about this
 
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