PreciousChild
MyPTSD Pro
I feel like I'm being a bad human being. I cannot warm up to my boyfriend's son who is 17. His mom is kind of a wreck, so I try to be sympathetic. But there has been a few incidents that have left a mark on our relationship - we're very different people in general, but he also takes money from my wallet without asking (he does that to his parents too), he's tried to ditch me on a road trip, he ignores me, has tried to get his friends to make fun of my special needs son (they uncomfortably declined), etc. I don't want to complain too much. I'm not looking for sympathy. I wanted to know if people on here thought that these incidents justified my feeling that I am not too keen on going out of the way for him. I'm inclined to use the "disengaging" strategy of step parenting which believes that a non-bio parent shouldn't keep expending energy on someone who will neither benefit, nor appreciate the effort. Or is it my cptsd, in which case maybe my focus in therapy should be to become a better surrogate for his mom.
I struggle a lot with honoring my needs and self-protection, so I'm thinking maybe I need to do more of that. But I cptsd can also make us quite self-centered and unable to take perspective. I'm wondering which am I. This is affecting my relationship with my boyfriend. He would be a lot happier if I would be more accepting and keep trying to engage his son until he can come around since he is the child and I am the adult.
I struggle a lot with honoring my needs and self-protection, so I'm thinking maybe I need to do more of that. But I cptsd can also make us quite self-centered and unable to take perspective. I'm wondering which am I. This is affecting my relationship with my boyfriend. He would be a lot happier if I would be more accepting and keep trying to engage his son until he can come around since he is the child and I am the adult.