Sexual Assault Sexual assault questioning

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Genuwine

Learning
@Rainbow87 Good on you for defending yourself. (Here on this forum I mean) You were sexually assaulted, I truly believe that. Asking for your consent after he already put your hand on his genitalia doesn't make it ok. Too little too late! Freezing is a genuine response to trauma. Freezing doesn't equal consent. Silence doesn't equal consent. I know from experience.
 

Rainbow87

New Here
Thank you, I think at the time I got into the car thinking it was an Uber & I do not think I wouldve let this person give me a massage if I was not intoxicated. I am just upset at myself for even getting into a situation like that.
 

Sideways

Sponsor
I am just upset at myself for even getting into a situation like that.
You’re vulnerable as a female when you’re out among drunks. Physically, we have the lower hand. Add alcohol? People become unpredictable. Some people become monsters. You need to look out for yourself. You are worth looking out for, yeah?

As for drinking with friends? We don’t let our friends go off alone, especially when they’re drunk. We make sure they get home safe. No matter what. Even if we were fighting with them before they walk off? We make sure they get home safe. That’s we what we do for our friends. That’s what you deserve from your friends.

You are precious. Your life, your safety, are precious. Become stronger because of this, and demand better. Demand better from yourself, and demand better from your friends. Stronger together, k.
 

EveHarrington

MyPTSD Pro
My money is on CSA (repressed?) but blaming it on this non-rape that flooded your system and threw you into full blown PTSD.
 

Rainbow87

New Here
Hey guys, I do not think anything happened when I was a child. I did wonder that for awhile, but there is nothing I can recall.

I did have a lot of issues with coming out as a lesbian however. I had anorexia & it was a very dark period. So although this may not seem like a traumatic experience to some .. It was for me because it wasn’t something I wanted or even asked for. & I felt like I did not have any control in the situation.
 

joeylittle

Administrator
So although this may not seem like a traumatic experience to some .. It was for me because it wasn’t something I wanted or even asked for.
Theres no doubt in my (own) mind that it was a traumatic experience - I don't think any of the posts on this thread are challenging that.

It's easy to get a little hung up on the naming of things - because it seems to validate the experience, or somehow put it in the right context. We get lots of posts from people wondering if something was rape or wasn't, was abuse or wasn't, was assault or wasn't...

The truth is - if your experience was, you were terrified, then you were terrified. You'll absolutely benefit from working with a therapist. It doesn't really matter what it might be called in a court of law - after all, courts of law don't always get it right, anyway. Often don't get it right.

You're being questioned about the PTSD diagnosis because there are a set of diagnostic criteria, and your experience doesn't fully conform to the criteria as they currently exist. Now, there are two things that are important to remember: one, all traumatic experiences do not result in PTSD. Two, the scientific community doesn't fully understand a whole lot about mental health; understanding how to diagnose and treat PTSD is a thing that evolves. There are certain markers that have shown themselves to be pretty consistent over time, as far as identifying PTSD goes. Your trauma can both be incredibly terrifying, and not match PTSD criteria. Your trauma can have been traumatizing to you, and can be addressed through trauma therapy. You didn't deserve to have what happened, happen. You do deserve to be heard, have your fear validated, and get help.

The good news is: PTSD is not curable. It can be managed, but (as far as is understood), it will always be there, and can be brought back into a flare up at any time. It's a lifelong management issue. So - I sincerely hope, for you, that this isn't PTSD - that it's a trauma response to a traumatic event, and it's churned up some anxiety and depression, but it can be addressed fully in therapy and eventually it will be part of your past, not constantly carried as part of your present. There's nothing lesser about your experience, whether it's PTSD or Acute Stress Disorder (ASD) or Adjustment Disorder, or the awkwardly named Other Specified Trauma/Stressor-Related Disorder.

People are asking about your past because it's not uncommon to experience delayed-onset PTSD. It is what happens when there is an acute stressor and an unresolved past trauma; the stressor can instigate a PTSD reaction, but the source trauma is the one from the past. They aren't always topically related. You mentioned your anorexia - there's stuff to unpack there, both in what instigated the disorder, and in how critical your medical condition became. It's not out of the question that your PTSD connection is really in that event; lots of research done on the connections between eating disorders and post-traumatic stress disorder.

My main point: what matters is that you get help. Figuring out what to label it as - both the incident, and sometimes one's own medical condition - those can come later. All trauma doesn't result in PTSD, and not all trauma can cause PTSD. Be open to the possibility that it might not be PTSD - your recovery chances are much much better if it's not. And how we think about these things does effect how we recover from them...because it's the brain.
 
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