I've been married for 15 years. My husband was very abusive in the first several years of our marriage (physically, sexually...you name it) I had a drinking problem during this time but have been sober for two years now.
He is not abusive like he was by far...but he is still making me have sex with him by whining, name calling, guilt trips. So I usually cave just to shut him up and keep some peace.
I was sexually abused from the ages of 6 to today...I've been trying to deal with the past sexual abuse now that I have some sobriety under my belt. I keep an open communication with him about how it makes me feel and he says all the right words like he understands but his actions don't follow if I don't have sex within a weeks time. I have a very low sex drive I don't want to have sex at all.
I want time to heal from the past 29 yrs. I need a break from the pressure. I can't take it anymore! When I do put up boundaries he gets pissy and when I keep the conversations focused on what he needs to change he always is trying to turn the tables on me.
I will give an example of his crap: a couple days ago he wanted to have sex and I did not, no reason I just didn't feel like it. We talked about it and he left it alone. I went to the kitchen to make dinner for my children (who where outside playing and about to come in to eat) he came into the kitchen and proceeded to grab at my crotch and breasts and try to get me to do it right in the kitchen over the to stove (where I was cooking sloppy joes) I told him to knock it off. He got mad and called me a fridged bitch and ran off to his room. I just let him go and said to my self (whatever you assface).
He came out for dinner and acted like everything was fine. When we went to bed that night he kept grabbing at me and I told him over and over I don't feel like it cant we just be together and talk. Well he wouldn't stop so I caved and let him have his way. I usually just lay there extremely uncomfortable with resentment rising in my body. After he is done I said " do you feel better " He says "yes but a bit guilty"...WTH! Why is he like this! How am I ever going to heal with him doing this to me?
He is not abusive like he was by far...but he is still making me have sex with him by whining, name calling, guilt trips. So I usually cave just to shut him up and keep some peace.
I was sexually abused from the ages of 6 to today...I've been trying to deal with the past sexual abuse now that I have some sobriety under my belt. I keep an open communication with him about how it makes me feel and he says all the right words like he understands but his actions don't follow if I don't have sex within a weeks time. I have a very low sex drive I don't want to have sex at all.
I want time to heal from the past 29 yrs. I need a break from the pressure. I can't take it anymore! When I do put up boundaries he gets pissy and when I keep the conversations focused on what he needs to change he always is trying to turn the tables on me.
I will give an example of his crap: a couple days ago he wanted to have sex and I did not, no reason I just didn't feel like it. We talked about it and he left it alone. I went to the kitchen to make dinner for my children (who where outside playing and about to come in to eat) he came into the kitchen and proceeded to grab at my crotch and breasts and try to get me to do it right in the kitchen over the to stove (where I was cooking sloppy joes) I told him to knock it off. He got mad and called me a fridged bitch and ran off to his room. I just let him go and said to my self (whatever you assface).
He came out for dinner and acted like everything was fine. When we went to bed that night he kept grabbing at me and I told him over and over I don't feel like it cant we just be together and talk. Well he wouldn't stop so I caved and let him have his way. I usually just lay there extremely uncomfortable with resentment rising in my body. After he is done I said " do you feel better " He says "yes but a bit guilty"...WTH! Why is he like this! How am I ever going to heal with him doing this to me?
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