Sexuality

[Maggiemay]

I'm asexual! Lol!

The prospect of sex as a result of my sexual abuse petrifies me so I'd rather stay clear of the prospect of a partner, of either sex! Worked on this slightly in therapy & got to the stay where I can think about it, which I couldn't before - couldn't even say the word! Xxx

 

[raven123]

Maggie, Don't let them steal something so beautiful as sex.

 

[Rumors]

Maggie, Don't let them steal something so beautiful as sex.

It isn't beautiful if you have been taught to fear it unfortunately. I think it is like anything that is a bad experience, you tend to be frightened of what it brings. Even more with something like sex that leaves you feeling so very vulnerable. However, I agree that, with the right person, it can be beautiful and perhaps one day you (Maggie) can find someone who will help you share that vulnerability without it making you feel exposed to the point that you are in fear. :(

Good luck and like raven said, don't give up on the prospect!

 

[Rumors]

Thank you my T also said I should try and see, I think it's because I don't know who I am anymore.

:( I am really sorry that you feel lost on this. You were robbed of having the a secure place to explore your sexuality. I am heterosexual but can absolutely feel the pain in your posts.

I can understand the Christian leverage that binds your decision bc so many people relate being gay as being deviant. It is not! I believe in God and believe you will be sitting right there in heaven next to me gay or not! I hope you can find a safe venue to explore your thoughts and are able to find peace either way.

I have been married 10 years but dated my husband about 5 or 6 before that and I can tell you that ANY relationship is a crap pot of work and takes a shit pot of commitment! I never thought I would marry and was ok with that. However, a little bundle of surprise changed everything for us and we made the plunge. Make a commitment based on love and respect not on gender. Love knows no boundary. Good luck!

 

[Jenny0329]

:( I am really sorry that you feel lost on this.

Sometimes I think I won't go to heaven because of the way I am :(.

 

[raven123]

Sometimes I think I won't go to heaven beacuse of the way I am :(.

Jenny, I don't know, but I do know it isn't a sin unto death if it is a sin so no need to worry. I also read "unnatural use" meant with animals not humans. So, I question if it is a sin or not. I don't think so. It does say, lust, too. So, if it's love, okay, right? I'm leaning that direction.

 

[Rumors]

Well honey, I can tell you that my belief is that you would have to be far worse than gay not to go to heaven. I am quite sure that works at your soul when you are brought up thinking it is deviant. Obviously, I can't tell you what to believe in, but I can just tell you my perspective and the things I believe in and perhaps that might give you some peace.

How can God not love his child? He does. As we get older and we get a little more experience, we realize that life is a gift from God and not meant to be lived in turmoil but meant to be shared with those who love and respect you. It is short and can be measured by the experiences we have throughout our time here. Don't waste God's gift on man's cowardly judgement. Give him your undivided love and respect by living your life to the fullest and being happy. Then you get to share that love with others and hopefully help them find their way as they navigate the twists and turns of life!

You are worthy of God's love and respect! Never doubt that! Good luck!!!!

 

[raven123]

Jenny, Jesus never addressed homosexuality. I read that and it has stayed with me. God is love so, it seems to me, if it's love, it's a-okay.

 

[Resilientbibliophile]

Trauma-colored experiences of a sexual nature define the perceptions of many a poster here. The chaos and inner disorder felt for power imbalances in relations with those close, those who ought to have protected us, mixed with the fact that we are each sexual beings with needs and desires naturally equates to conflict and felt torment. Although difficult to concieve in the moment, receptivity and inclinations evolve and some faith has to be placed such.

Reactivity, dissociation, and especially shame felt in the moment is entirely consistent with the experience of P.T.S.D. For application to matters that will recall pain and prompt the beginnings of a process of healing the hope is that you'll regain and properly reframe what sexuality means to you, what preference means to you. You might explore identities, trying them on for size as you evolve towards that which affords you the best fit. What the larger world makes of this one cannot control, rather what suits you best for application mixed with formal therapy, blended with the passage of time. Kind regards...

M.

 

[Jenny0329]

Thank you everyone, it is true that God loves all so he should love me and everyone no matter who they are.

 

[Rumors]

Don't forget that, Jenny. He does and more than anything he wants you to love and respect yourself! Make good choices for yourself today! Start with knowing that you deserve happiness!

(())

 

[Jenny0329]

Thank you I have been reading the Bible today about this topic.