Share Your Experience Of Telling T Hard Things.

[Lee2001]

I wanted to hear your thoughts on how you share challenging issues with Therapist! Anything from traumas, self injury, symptoms, fears, and anything you struggle with sharing. Did you just not share, write it down, or make them figure it out etc. I am still fairly new to therapy and find this challenging and truly interested in what you all have experienced. Thanks for your replies.

 

[Justmehere]

Put me down for talking around it until I awkwardly blurt it out.

Therapist was super chill about it.

 

[watundah]

All of the above.

 

[Glo809]

Greetings

Don't have one anymore, insurance won't cover it.

But I have this site and the towns liars clubs (military) so I do have a limited avenue to vent, I know who has a sympathetic ear, and that means alot.

When I find myself in a dark time, I sleep---- withdrawal so I don't say or do anything that I have to atone to.

But back to your question, I'll talk about anything but depending on the subject I will sanitize it juat a wee bit.

I think by this time the whole town knows what I'm dealing with, and I don't care.

G

 

[Mice]

I have a hard time recognizing my emotional state, let alone expressing these feelings. Last week was my last session with my therapist. This termination is rushed and unplanned. For 2 weeks I've been having trouble breathing thinking how I'll never be able to open up to someone else. I don't know how, but I managed to tell my therapist I'm terrified of being helpless if I can't speak to this new person. I was staring at my feet, vision blurred and trembling. I could hear from her breathing and voice that she was emotional as well.

I used to dread these moments in therapy. And I probably still do. But despite the pain, I'm glad I was able to show my vulnerability and attachment for once.

 

[Eagle3]

I did a lot of hemming and hawing, hid my face in the pillow, and still couldn't face him when I told him some of the worst of my past. Didn't faze him, and I'm so glad. Hard things got easier, but sometimes I still have to force myself to tell him something. Thankfully he knows how to drag stuff out of me.

 

[Joan]

I have tried all of the above...Many times i thought it should be obvious from what I alluded to, but no. I have found art very helpful and often can express something I have no words for or just cannot say.
Time after time I have found if I can just face it and get it out the reception is warm and compassionate and helps soften the blow. Sometimes I email ahead of time and say there is something I need to address...I guess giving some accountability and making it harder to just skirt around the issue.
It is still hard and a struggle, give yourself time and compassion.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

Well in the past I've written it down and handed it to T as I was leaving as I couldn't stand to give them it during the session. I practically threw it at him and ran out the door then acted like a crazy person on the public transport home. I wouldn't recommend that, I had a week of hell until the next session I ran every scenario in my head. I felt pressured by this T to be specific so that's probably why this happened. He took it well and it turned out all right but I wouldn't go that route again. Although if I wrote it down and was a bit better prepared like I am now it could be really helpful just not the end of session the way I did it. :bag:

I've also been physically unable to say anything could not do it. I felt like I had swallowed a desert while a golf ball was struck in my throat.

I've also dissociated said what I could and with my Ts help grounded again.

I find it helpful for my T to ask questions I say vaguely what is wrong she'll ask if I want her to ask questions I can say yes or no if I don't feel upto it. I'll also say I don't want to answer that question she moves on. She knows how hard it is for me to open up and helps as much as she can.

I push myself but not too much. After the above mentioned letter throwing I was very unwell, ended up in the psychiatric hospital for a night. It was too much too soon. I still push but it's important to me that it's me pushing not someone else if that makes sense. I needed feel in control.

 

[sun seeker]

I think you need to trust your instincts on this. What will it feel like for you after you tell? Is there a sense of relief or are you affected so much that you decompensate?

I've had both happen, more of the former. Earlier in therapy I had a lot of things I felt were looming over me, that I felt like I needed to talk about but was worried he would think worse of me if he knew. Now I've gotten through those and he has been able to handle all of them with respect and without judgement, I relaxed more and didn't feel like I had to say anything in particular. There is no rule that you have to tell your therapist everything. You get to choose. What is going to be helpful to you to have them know? Are there things you need to say because you need help with them, or do you just need a safe person to know them? It is your choice what you bring up and what you don't.

On the other hand, there was one thing I brought up against my better judgement, knowing I would feel worse if I did. I was right. I still haven't really gotten over that.

So as I say, follow your instincts. You can also tell your therapist ahead of time that there is something you need to say that is very hard for you to talk about, and tell them what kind of response would be helpful. Do you just want them to hear you and not say anything? Do you need them not to look at you while you talk, or is it better if they move their chair closer? They should understand what it's like to talk about difficult subjects and if at all possible, accommodate your requests.

 

[Panda Bear]

Anywhere from him guessing, to me writing it out in an email...sometimes a text message. Like when I had a self harm incident. :notworthy: He had asked me all session and I kept getting angry and avoiding it.

Some years, it was me stammering and acting like a fool....

He picked up on the sexual abuse almost a full year before I confirmed it.....

 

[Friday]

If I'm forcing myself to speak of anything I don't want to -no matter how much I may want to- I need distance. Of some kind. In any context. Or, ironically, the inverse.

Distance can be writing it down, drugs/alcohol/medication, disassociation, distancing language, imminent physical distance...

((LMAO, I never knew I did this until I was called on it by an MSW girlfriend. Anything heavy? Was going to be dumped that last 2 seconds before I walked out the door. She grew to plan on it. We'd spend a couple hours BS'ing and then as I'm hugging goodbye & waving & walking out the door? I would give her "next weeks topic". Later, once I was doing better, she let me in on it. Oh. I DO do that, don't I??? :O_o: I didn't have a clue. "Oh, by the way, <insert bombshell here> Have a great week! " It did actually work really well, once I knew about it, we struck a deal. Last 2 minutes? No holds barred AND no conversation shall happen. I could say whatever I wanted, walk out the door, and a week later we'd talk about it. So I had both actual distance and time distance. Much later, I learned to bring most of those things to the beginning of a session. Which acted as a gradient. Because if the last 2 minutes came and there was still news? Or something on my mind? It was reeeally big. To the point we didn't usually talk about it for weeks. Just nodded at it. It was super useful. Not everything brought to the table has to be handled right then. Space is okay. That was huge for me.))

... Distracting distance (like talking whilst doing another activity; from playing pool to hiking, to drawing, what have you), et cetera. Pretty much anything that gives me some space between whatever IT is, and myself.

Connection, aka the inverse of distance, isn't a therapeutic thing for me, mostly. Unless someone is willing to go toe to toe with me? Deliberately provoke me to being furious enough I lose all my filters and am pure rage / purely in the moment? Which isn't exactly something most therapists are keen on. The only other place I tend to let all my walls down is in bed with someone. Also, clearly, not a therapeutic setting thing.

______
@Lola Nocheprieta ... Just because I don't want to thread jack I'm putting this up here.

:roflmao: ! No lie! Although my pillow talk could apparently use some work. Cough. Sweet nothings. We're working on sweet nothings. Not once upon a time in... Oh. That got dark fast. Round2? :batts eyelashes:: Let's feel alive shall we? Like, really alive. And kiss the ghosts goodbye. And all is right with the world once again.

 

[Panda Bear]

@Friday
You may like my T :tup:

He would deliberately provoke you....he does to me, often. With the intent of me loosing all control. He wants me to loose my shit in his office.