Relationship She Called Me Her Best Friend

[Thomas1904]

Hey guys

Was talking to my wife last night and she finally opened up to me a little. we had a talk about how she saw our marriage and stuff like that.

She said that when she leaves hospital she wants to stay with her grand parents for a little while. And take time to think about out relationship, she says she loves me but not in love with me.

When I questioned her about this she said that the only reason she wouldn't want to continue our marriage is because the thought of having sex with men makers her sick, and that she may only like females now. and she cant see a marriage working with out sex, but that she still cares so much for me and that I'm her best friend, and she just want to wait and see if it how she actually feels or its just her being ill.

I know that she was sexually abused as a child, and this makes me think that it has a lot to do with that, but I have no idea what to do. I love her so much and I'm having massive anxiety.

Does anyone have any help for me?

 

[Philippa]

That sounds really hard Thomas. I don't know what I can say to help, but I hear that you are feeling anxious and don't know what to do. I don't think you can really 'do' anything at the moment, other than respect her wishes to stay with her parents for some time to think things over and feel into things more. Maybe do your best to keep busy in the meantime and offer your support in whatever way you can. It's not an easy situation. I can recommend the 5 tibetan rites to help with anxiety. You can find demonstrations of them on you tube. A fellow named Heath Myers teaches them. They take about 15 minutes all up and will help you to feel better and deal with the anxiety.

 

[Ketamine Dreams]

Yeah, I agree. I think you need to hang back for awhile and let her sort through her issues. She will need time and counseling to help herself out. Even then she may not really figure things out. Currently she is incapable of being in a relationship, and that could be the case long-term, but it's too early to know. The sex thing may be too much for her.

You need to care of yourself as well. I would recommend seeing someone and getting some quality counseling, as this is a high stress situation for you too.

 

[BigBear]

The counseling is a super idea.

The next thought I have is can you see a marriage without sex. So for instance, what if she had cancer and had to have everything cut out. Would you cease to love her? What if you were a quadriplegic, would she cease to love you?

It always helps to know what you are really feeling!

Bear