Shellyb

[shellyb]

I am new to the forum. Two years ago I was diagnosed with complex ptsd. I am 68 years old and had done a good job at holding all my feelings of terror, rage, fear, shame, humilation, etc. for 60 years. I have struggled with depression my whole life. Although I knew I was molested by my brother for several years, I apparently refused to let that dictate my life, although looking back I realize it did in many ways. Two years ago, after my mother and my lifelong friend died, I went into the depression of my life and everything started coming out. I was unable to function for two years but getting somewhat better through lots of therapy, outpatient programs and psychiatric help. It is hard for me to process and accept that I was once a functioning person, had a career, built a business and so on. I raised two children and have been married 30 years. I want to be well again and I suppose I am discouraged by my age to be recovery. I have good days and bad days. It is a roller coaster ride and sometimes I don't even know why I am crying. I suppose I am looking for hope and that this condition can improve, even at my age. Thank you.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

You can be diagnosed CPTSD? You learn something every day.

Im sorry to hear what all you've been through and what you are dealing with now! I know its more depressing to you due to your age but look at the silver lining; you were able to raise your children in a good loving home, you were able to sustain a marriage for 30 yrs. Have a wonderful career and live a wonderful happy life for that long time frame. Thats amazing. So dont let your age be a bad factor. You now have to deal with this and its ok. There are several on the board that are around your age so its not uncommon.

Welcome to the forum! :hug:

 

[Silent one]

Hi Shellyb
Welcome to the forum. It is so shocking when PTSD intrudes into our lives! You held it together for a very long time and accomplished a great deal of things!

I believe you can get better. I believe we all can.

PTSD doesn't have a time stamp. It can take years to come to the surface which is what happened to you. Me too.
I was in a state of denial, saying to myself, no way, that's not me! I think acceptance is the hardest part. We yearn to be who were before PTSD stole our lives.

I have some hope to spare if you need some. Good job for seeking help. Keep going. Age makes no difference. Best wishes to you!!!

 

[blackemerald1]

Hello @shellyb, welcome to the forum. I hope you will find lot's of interesting information & assistance here.
In short, I do not see your age as a barrier to healing. It is not a barrier as and of itself.

You have obviously done well in your life despite your trauma. There is every reason for you to enjoy your life, and you will find lot's of people from all over the world here, different perspectives, different trauma's and of all ages. But, all with the same aim. To heal. I hope you will.
Go well

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I was in a state of denial, saying to myself, no way, that's not me! I think acceptance is the hardest part

I totally agree with that! I too went in denial for 10 yrs (18 - 28) and it was at 28 that my body was purging it out, i couldnt hide it anymore.

@shellyb i think its amazing how long you kept it all held together! That takes a great deal of strength! You have the strength to get through this! I believe in you! :hug:

 

[ms spock]

All the best @shellyb!

Age doesn't matter - you belong here with us for as long as you want. There are some great people on this forum.

 

[Nevermore]

@shellyb im in my late 50s now and losing my lifelong friend was part of what blew down the house of cards. She was so important to me - a touchstone, the one who was with me the whole journey. I also had sexual abuse as a child.
I relate to you!!
Losing a couple of people that were my glue was the start of my unravelling.
Hang in there. You do belong here and I'm glad you posted!!

 

[Sunrise64]

I am new to the forum. Two years ago I was diagnosed with complex ptsd. I am 68 years old and had don...

shellyb

I feel the same way you do i'm in my 50's. I'm stuck and it is a roller coaster and you are not alone and that's why I came to this forum.
I've been listening to liquid mind, coloring and trying to remember to use coping skills. It's hard and like you it's bad days and good days and sometimes it gets to be up and down in one day and that isn't fun. Some days are hard to get through it. I hope you find peace in your journey. Never in my life did I think I'd be coloring in my 50's!