Should I Call My Therapist? Had A Flashback

[Dootsbec]

I'm not sure, but I think I had a flashback. What happened threw me completely off guard and blew me away. My abuser, who happens to be my father, came to visit for niece's baptism (LDS--so she is eight) and I literally saw my father as he looked 20 years ago, and saw myself as an eight year old instead of my niece. I was confused between past and present and tried to tell myself that I am not a child and the little girl is my niece--not me. I didn't see visions of the abuse, that's why I'm sorta shocked, just myself being scared and innocent and helpless and feeling so so alone at that tender age. When me and my husband left I cried and shivered uncontrollably. It was upsetting and freaked me out. I don't see my therapist for a few days--would you call your therapist if you were me? I always feel like I'm being a dependent drama queen but I wonder if this is something I need to talk about.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Generally I think that calling your therapist should be reserved for times when you need a little extra help as your own coping skills aren't getting you through the moment. Are you at that point right now? If so, then it may be a good idea to call your therapist (although it is late in most US time zones right now, so does your therapist limit the hours that she accepts calls?) If you are able to get through until the morning on your own, then I would wait until then to call her. Its important to be able to turn to our therapists when we need extra help, but its a balancing act as we are also learning to become independent and cope on our own as well.

 

[desiderata310]

I think if you've never had one and are still very upset (and it sounds like you are) that it would be a good idea to call. Try to be extra kind to yourself and be gentle with yourself till you feel a bit less shaky

I understand how upsetting it can be. I had a flashback yesterday at the grocery store. It's not been happening as much as of late but when it does it sort of throws me off for days. I didn't call my therapist but I sent him a note (about something else) and mentioned that this had happened. It was upsetting and disorienting but I didn't need or want to talk when it happened. I knew WHAT had happened. I just wanted to hide. Today has been all about self care.

 

[Dootsbec]

If you are able to get through until the morning on your own, then I would wait until then to call her. Its important to be able to turn to our therapists when we need extra help, but its a balancing act as we are also learning to become independent and cope on our own as well.

Oops, yeah I should've mentioned that I was thinking about calling my T tomorrow and setting up an appointment for earlier in the week. I left that out. My bad

 

[Nam]

What is a few days? After these episodes, I tend to get very depressed and withdrawn. Most times I can't articulate it for at least 2 days. I wouldn't wait more than a week.

 

[Dootsbec]

I understand how upsetting it can be. I had a flashback yesterday at the grocery store...Today has been all about self care.

I'm not even sure how to deal with this. I have dealt with my abuse history my whole life by being a perfectionist and trying to exhibit some control over things in my life. now that I am dealing with the abuse finally and not repressing it I'm sort of at a loss for what to do--and frustrated that I had this flashback, but I guess I should expect it? What do you do for 'self-care'? I'm sorry you had a flashback in such a public place. I've had triggers, body memories etc... But nothing so vivid as I had this weekend. Hope you are feeling ok.

 

[Dootsbec]

Most times I can't articulate it for at least 2 days. I wouldn't wait more than a week.

My appointments are on Fridays. wow I'm glad you mentioned the articulation thing. I can write it out pretty good (obviously here) but trying to explain it verbally to my husband was frustrating. And the withdrawn thing--afterwards left the house and drove (I know--BAD IDEA) to a secluded area and screamed myself into oblivion.

 

[Nam]

I know exactly what that is like. I got the shivers too. Only recently in my reading did an author talk about the nervous system getting rid of excess stress. I know I'm not phrasing this correctly. I understand it to be a process of connecting the feelings of the past with the reasoning of the present.

Several of my memories/flashbacks were not abuse related. But I still had similar reactions. Also keep in mind that emotional flashbacks can b very powerful. The helplessness, abandonment and hopelessness are common themes for emotional flashbacks for child abuse victims.

 

[Seasounds]

-flasbacks can be so unsettling!
-glad you think to call you T, and think to come in earlier in the week, or call, maybe go in for two appts this week?

 

[desiderata310]

Self care for me means that I stop any unnecessary outside activity.

I didn't finish grocery shopping. I left my cart there, went home as soon as I could drive, made tea and took medication. I curled up on the couch with a blanket and cried. I did what I could to shut down and sleep.

Yesterday, I pretty much didn't move far from my bed. I stayed in (it was raining anyway) and did pretty much what it sounds like: I took care of me. I sort of pretended like I was sick: I ate comfort foods, stayed in comfortable clothes and didn't interact with anyone all day. Some days, that means going for a run, or cycling.

Yesterday I was very weepy, tired, physically weak and felt like I was coming down with something.

This morning I wish I could do the same today but I have to be at work early. It's 5:30, I've been awake for about an hour and a half from a nightmare and I wish I could go back to sleep and call in sick.

Do what feels right for you. Pretend you're a sick little kid who needs a little comfort today.