A person who displays the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder on the extreme end of the spectrum is what is offically labeled a Psychopath.
This is recognised world-wide and is very different from the psychological trauma/damage that is evident in a lot of people including us with PTS.
Total lack of empathy, use of emotional & psychological abuse and physical violence when the "object" he desires to control is taken away.
Your nature sounds trusting and hopeful, but your gut is telling you that he is capable of killing you, especially if you leave him. This is a well-recognised response of controlling men to their partner leaving them.
You need to call a women's abuse hotline and get practical guidance of how to plan your getaway. You need one friend or family member who will support you in getting out of there. Most of all, you must not tell him of your plans.
You must go against your nature and be secretive. Plan and wait and act when it is safe and make sure he cannot find you. Dont go to any family member or friend he knows the address of. If you work, you may need to consider leaving your job.
You need professional guidance and support and a Women's Shelter. These are available in Australia. Please ring one and get good sensible practical advice. Practical. Someone to tell you exactly how to do it and follow it exactly. You cannot rely on your own instincts until you are out of this situation. This is serious.
