Should I Push Myself?

[bittersweet]

I apologize if this is in the wrong section but I have been wondering if it is a good idea to push myself to watch certain things that usually trigger panic attacks, nightmares, flashbacks etc. For example, should I start to expose myself to certain movies or shows that may talk about or have scenes with rape in it with the hopes of helping me "get over" (for lack of a better term) my fears and try to make myself less sensitive to these triggers? Usually at the slightest inclination of there being rape in a movie or show I immediately shut it off or walk out of the theater but I'm not sure if this is doing more harm than good to me. I would like some input if at all possible please.

 

[BigBear]

Please talk to your T before jumping into anything...

Bear

 

[bittersweet]

Unfortunately I stopped seeing my T as he wasn't really touching subjects I needed him too. I've been actively searching for a new and more qualified one.

But I will be continuing to avoid movies/shows and such that may be triggers or cause flashbacks

 

[Lionheart]

Unfortunately I stopped seeing my T as he wasn't really touching subjects I needed him too. I've been actively searching for a new and more qualified one.

You want to be in control of how your therapy time is spent, it is after all for you and you alone and not the therapist or anyone else. However, there are often subjects we just don't really want to address and leaving for that reason would not be a wise move IMHO. If I couldn't get the "T" to work on subjects that had meaning to my healing process, I would find another "T", but a therapist should be sensitive to your needs and willing to direct you towards healing.

I don't think exposure therapy is a good thing at this point, you need a support system in place to help you deal with your triggers/flashbacks. Otherwise you will just be spinning your wheels and increasing your symptoms without the benefit of the healing that exposure therapy can bring.

 

[bittersweet]

I can understand there are things that certain T's may not want to address but if it is the sole reason why I chose to go to him I would expect him to touch on it at least a little bit. Most of the time spent there he was talking about his family and talked more about himself than anything else.

 

[Dee Morris]

Most of the time spent there he was talking about his family and talked more about himself than anything else.

Why was he talking about his family? I don't blame you for firing him. I would as well. You owe it to yourself to find another T as quickly as possible.

Definitely avoid intentionally exposing yourself to triggers. Especially now that you are in between therapists. Exposure therapy can be helpful but not without the support of a trained professional.

 

[bittersweet]

Dee, my T would always strike up a random casual conversation and in the beginning I figured it would maybe lead to something useful and have a point but towards the end I got really fed up with having him talk about himself majority of the time. I'll pay for treatment but not casual conversation.

 

[Lionheart]

I'll pay for treatment but not casual conversation.

What a loser of a therapist :confused:, I am sure you can find a better therapist than that. :)

 

[bittersweet]

Yeah Lionheart, I'm hoping that I can possibly find a better one in my new town *fingers crossed*

 

[Dee Morris]

Yeah Lionheart, I'm hoping that I can possibly find a better one in my new town *fingers crossed*

It might help to find out how much experience any potential T has working with PTSD patients. I've had a few that seemed to be extremely uncomfortable & redirect when discussing my traumas. I get that it's hard to hear. It's even harder to say it.

Good luck. Somewhere out there is a T that is a match for you. Be patient & keep trying. You are worth the effort!

 

[bittersweet]

Thank you for the reassurance. Supposedly he had 30 years experience with it but i guess the truth may have been stretched on that. The search shall continue

 

[Tinyflame]

I think as regards the original question, I would have a plan to deal with the after-effects of exposure, and try to make sure I was self-aware before I exposed myself to triggers intentionally. Maybe journal, too.