Should People Really Vent, Especially When It Is Ugly?

[goingonhope]

Truly and deeply confused this evening!

I wanted to vent in my diary tonight, but it's IMO, an especially ugly, painful vent, with some filth and rot. Should such a type of vent, ....or such a time arrive, that such vents and heartfelt (hopefully temporary) thoughts and feelings be restricted, forbidden and left inside to hopefully rot away?

What's your opinion, or thoughts on such?

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

In my opinion let it out. She Cat said to me "better out than in" and I agree. Holding it in creates stress on the body.

No one will judge you for your thoughts no matter how ugly and filthy they are. Or at least they shouldn't be judging since we all understand this condition.

Take care
Tammy

 

[morgan]

I agree with Tammy, vent away! It is your diary you can say whatever you want or need to in it. Your thoughts and feelings are valid and deserve to be recognized. I won't judge you that's for sure! You should hear some of the shit that goes on in my head sometimes!

Take care, Morgan

 

[Tinyflame]

I agree with the others hope, vent away.

I think that's the point. The harder we try to supress or ignore it, the more it effects us. Letting it out can help lead you to be over and done with it in a certain (BIG) way.

Can't likely be any worse than the crap I think of!

 

[patrick]

God, the thought of letting something being left inside to rot away doesn't sound too good to me. If not in your diary, getting it out somewhere sounds right to me.

 

[midi]

Vent away! Don't let it eat you up inside. If you feel uncomfortable with writing it in your diary, maybe you can write it out on sheets of paper and then tear it up?

One mistake I used to do was vent at people. Now I just write the crap out, over and and over, if I have to.

 

[goingonhope]

No one will judge you for your thoughts no matter how ugly and filthy they are.

Though I can still care whether or not others would judge me on my ugly thoughts, I care more as to whether I'd be judging myself. I hate that by the very nature of the degradation of such crimes that it has rendered me voiceless all those years; Now, when perhaps I could tell of such, that horror and disgust mixed with love, (youthful niaeve beliefs) and now still a longing for the belief in the goodness of most of mankind, it becomes all twisted so within me at times, that such past traumas would manifest themselves as repulsion toward myself; Much like: Imagining if when an auto-immune condition turns on itself and attacks itself, .....if we experienced such on the outside and it was beyond visible.

I hate that also at times when beyond triggered, way beyond reasonable suffering (which suffering is something I too have a good tolerance for), and beyond disgust and exhaustion, that a universal disgust, rejection, rage and hatred can be successfully antagonized, and all of me so shaken, that my power to do good is drained and exhausted, til I'm ready time an again to long to meet my maker.

 

[goingonhope]

You should hear some of the shit that goes on in my head sometimes!

:smile: (smiles)

Me too, Morgan. Me too! It's unfortunate but real nonetheless these days, and all adding up to some years by now. Was once a particularly common thought process of mine, but then I got such a significant break from such that I would of thought: .......never to return. How mistaken I was, and foolish I feel now.

 

[goingonhope]

The harder we try to supress or ignore it, the more it effects us.

Junebug, it's just that last night I was so immersed in the reliving of so much emotional and physical pain and energy and a sudden onslaught of fear that I couldn't stand the pain. It felt like and escalates too, primal sounds of deeply rooted grief, horror and violation that results in intense frustrations, fears and frighteningly horrible thoughts. ...And, then what I do with such intensity remains beyond me at such times. So ya' I guess you're right on.

 

[Tinyflame]

hope, I have felt the same many, many times.

May each time of "rolling thru it" bring you more and more healing.

Meg :Hug_emoticon:

 

[goingonhope]

God, the thought of letting something being left inside to rot away doesn't sound too good to me.

Hi Patrick, your words have helped me begin to respond straight again, along with the other comments. I particularly found the motivation to push beyond this fear as of late, in something about the way you worded your comment and in that I've read your posts throughout the forum and have identified, at one point in time or another, with so much with how you tend to think and feel.

I've written so much about my traumas and details that, I don't know that I've written nearly as much about how I think and feel in the present, or past as much as many have. I don't even know if I could in regards to the present. Sometimes, it's almost as if I have to wait til my present is past and then I'd be far more likely to say what's been up and how I think and feel.

It's something that I've noticed some others have a talent towards. While I just have to march, and regardless of my thoughts, feelings, health or conditions.

 

[goingonhope]

One mistake I used to do was vent at people. Now I just write the crap out, over and and over, if I have to.

I made this mistake midi today, and yesterday as well. In fact, I've made this mistake more than just today and yesterday. I'm glad you mentioned this here.

I wish I could say I use to do this, bc when it happens it's with those I love the most. I still really have an awful lot of decisions to follow-thru with, vs. speaking and/or trying to do others best thinking for them, bc I end up triggered, and frustrated and those I love too often overwhelmed and afraid.