A year ago, I posted my story. Shut out...not sure why :(
Essentially I had not spoken to him in a year after I was shut out. Last October I checked in to see how he was and he said it was nice to hear from me, etc. and asked how I was doing, but it did take him 5 days to respond.
Now, I have been living not too far from where he lives and have been here for a few months. I have struggled to move on from him, but was hesitant to contact him as I was worried about the outcome. Anyway, I decided to finally do so the other night. I sent a text asking how he was, and he responded immediately - the fastest response I have ever had from him. He asked me questions and I told him I would like to see him and he said ‘of course we can get together’. He said some time next week as he had days off work. I wanted him to feel comfortable and then I told him that it would just be nice to catch up…no expectations or stress, and I was happy to go over to his house and just hang out. He said that sounds great. I told him I would be in contact to arrange.
I then called him last weekend and he didn’t answer, so I sent a text asking to see when we can catch up. He messaged me back straight away and said he was out at dinner, and said we can definitely catch up during the week, and that he would call me later if it wasn’t too late. He called me the next day. I hadn’t spoken to him in over a year. We had a good conversation and things just sounded so normal, and nothing was in question, and then I started thinking I was crazy for thinking all this stuff about him, because he seemed like he was functioning so well - he had moved house, was busy traveling and with work, etc.
He asked if I would come up and visit him and he sounded completely keen. I told him the days I was free and he said he was getting his work schedule that day and would then let me know. I also told him it was my birthday that week too. I never heard anything. I texted a couple of days later asking him if he got his schedule and when I could come and see him. No response at all.
This was the exact same trend as what happened a year ago. I just don’t understand it…if he didn’t want to see me, why would he text back and call me back and say he does, etc.? When I spoke to him, I had no reason to doubt him or ask him as to whether he is sure he wants to catch up, as everything on the phone sounded so certain, and he was so interested in my life over the past year, and did not seem in a hurry to get off the phone.
I know he’s not a dick, and would not intentionally mess me around. We have always had that mutual respect for one another and have never really argued.
Can someone please help me understand why he may do this?
Could I perhaps trigger something?
I am sure that people will tell me to just let it go, but I really just can't right now, and feel like I just need to see him, even just for some closure.
Any advice as to how to handle it from here? I am very patient and know how to give space and have never bombarded him with texts.
But I am just completely lost right now!
Essentially I had not spoken to him in a year after I was shut out. Last October I checked in to see how he was and he said it was nice to hear from me, etc. and asked how I was doing, but it did take him 5 days to respond.
Now, I have been living not too far from where he lives and have been here for a few months. I have struggled to move on from him, but was hesitant to contact him as I was worried about the outcome. Anyway, I decided to finally do so the other night. I sent a text asking how he was, and he responded immediately - the fastest response I have ever had from him. He asked me questions and I told him I would like to see him and he said ‘of course we can get together’. He said some time next week as he had days off work. I wanted him to feel comfortable and then I told him that it would just be nice to catch up…no expectations or stress, and I was happy to go over to his house and just hang out. He said that sounds great. I told him I would be in contact to arrange.
I then called him last weekend and he didn’t answer, so I sent a text asking to see when we can catch up. He messaged me back straight away and said he was out at dinner, and said we can definitely catch up during the week, and that he would call me later if it wasn’t too late. He called me the next day. I hadn’t spoken to him in over a year. We had a good conversation and things just sounded so normal, and nothing was in question, and then I started thinking I was crazy for thinking all this stuff about him, because he seemed like he was functioning so well - he had moved house, was busy traveling and with work, etc.
He asked if I would come up and visit him and he sounded completely keen. I told him the days I was free and he said he was getting his work schedule that day and would then let me know. I also told him it was my birthday that week too. I never heard anything. I texted a couple of days later asking him if he got his schedule and when I could come and see him. No response at all.
This was the exact same trend as what happened a year ago. I just don’t understand it…if he didn’t want to see me, why would he text back and call me back and say he does, etc.? When I spoke to him, I had no reason to doubt him or ask him as to whether he is sure he wants to catch up, as everything on the phone sounded so certain, and he was so interested in my life over the past year, and did not seem in a hurry to get off the phone.
I know he’s not a dick, and would not intentionally mess me around. We have always had that mutual respect for one another and have never really argued.
Can someone please help me understand why he may do this?
Could I perhaps trigger something?
I am sure that people will tell me to just let it go, but I really just can't right now, and feel like I just need to see him, even just for some closure.
Any advice as to how to handle it from here? I am very patient and know how to give space and have never bombarded him with texts.
But I am just completely lost right now!
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