annafennutchi said:When my panic attacks come on, it's like after a nightmare, or when I am alone and have a flashback, smell a related scent, I am startled. Sometimes they come on for no reason that I can conciously think of.
The ones I have that come to my mind are when someone rings the doorbell. I panic and freeze, unable to actually move to even see who's there. :eek: On the rare occasions when I am able to move, I actually have to see who's there first before I can answer the door. But this doesn't happen often; if there's someone else home I have them answer it - I will go with them, but I just can't answer it.
The anger outbursts happen in situations when I feel like I am being taken advantage of,being blamed for something I feel is not my fault, not being listened to, being patronized, or belittled. Keep in mind that these don't actually have to be the message being sent-it's only how I percieve it. I feel it comming, but somehow I can't stop it. Then after it starts there is no talking me down I have to let it run its corse.
These make me feel especially crazy because I see it happening but am unable to stop it.
Boy, do I know this feeling! There are many times when I am in the middle of a rage and I think to myself, "I shouldn't be doing this." But I can't stop - I don't have the right tools to (I'm hoping that will come with more therapy). And yes, I have to let it run its course too. Afterwards I am so emotionally drained that I can't do anything else. I walk around like a zombie... :frown:
Kim