Sick Of Setbacks, Does God Hate You Too?

[Innordinate]

Why is it when something starts to get better everything gets worse?!

Yesterday, starting to finally feel like I might, just might, have a slim chance at getting this under control enough to function some times and the next thing I know I'm in the f'ing hospital recovering from a mild heartattack!!
Because of my medication and I got dehydrated and together started a heart arythmia and...... ARGH! :mad:

Now I either come off the med completely or lower it and risk another heart attack.
I'd rather be on the med but getting extreme pressure from family, wife, step mother, therapist to go off!
and then the nightmares.

I'd rather be dead.
God, I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm tired.
Why? Every couple of months it's a start over.
What is the point!!?
God hates me. You can't beat God. There's no point in trying to fight that.
Why even bother anymore.

 

[AngelaMarie]

Life is a roller coaster. In my life I have come to realize if things are going brilliant (high), they may be bad soon (plummet). I think the key for me has been to realize everything changes with time. Things can get better with time. Sometimes very quickly.:)
Maybe you should watch dehydration also? Drink lots of fluids!!!

 

[mamachick]

I have difficult believing because I think I have not experienced. As an adolescent, I put God in the same catagory as Santa and the Easter Bunny. I admire those with a relationship with God.

 

[seedling]

Innordinate, I had something similar this week. Got another bladder infection which I fortunately was able to treat at home with a lot of care and watching. Still felt like crap and was ready to call the doctor a few times. Why does the physical self just give up and give out when the brain is starting to do well. I'd rather have any other sickness because now the UTIs come with panic and I feel like I'm going to die. Even if I don't have extreme physical symptoms.

I always think I've let myself get too tired, run down or whatever, then I think of times I didn't get physically sick after being in a haze of exhaustion for days. For me the bladder problems are related to emotions coming up and working their way out. This time I started to feel very angry (over a year in coming) and was able to get some of that out.

It's a whole body/person illness. Let yourself feel tired and just rest if you can. Take care. The feeling of being able to handle it was real and will return and grow.

 

[curiouser]

Why is it when something starts to get better everything gets worse?!

Maybe it's a personal belief you have that you've proved to be true for yourself because of your experiences with this happening in the past? Our perception is usually our reality.

Why? Every couple of months it's a start over. What is the point!!?

Are you doing the same things and expecting a different out come? Thinking the same thoughts? Anticipating the same outcome every couple of months?

Could you try different meds? Could you try other alternatives to the meds, like natural herbs/supplements, exercise, other forms of therapies that might help you to function?

I hope you are able to feel better again soon.:)

 

[The Albatross]

Inordinate, I hope you're recovering and that your health issues clear up and you get well soon.

Something I do when my mind pings all those thoughts at me, like the ones you shared. Is write them out to see if it's really what I believe or if it's just a "feeling". If it's something I believe, do I benefit in thinking this way? If I don't benefit I may take me a while, but I try to get rid of it and choose another belief that I will benefit from.

Yeah, set backs suck.

My husband has a genetic blood disorder that sets him up for a heart attack. He had a hard time but has made the changes necessary and is doing really well. I'm glad you shared your thoughts... he had some like yours and I have too, with my health issues. But short of a second opinion, there is little to do with a "fact" but face it, make choices to address it as best as you can, and move on... it's a process but eventually it serves. Because it is a way to cope with adversity. Something that can become calm and at peace with because it was a conscious process for me. I hope htis helps you.

 

[Kaii]

As a nurse, my first thought is "Protect the heart first because it is essential to life". But as a nurse with PTSD, I see your meds for the PTSD as essential also because I know what it is to live with this disorder.

I'm so sorry for the crossroad that you now find yourself at. I hope the path becomes clear for you soon.

Take care of yourself,
Kaii

 

[Jagged Angel]

God doesn't hate you

 

[KP the nut]

I don't know if it is God, but yes some greater power is hating me.

There is a trite little saying that God only gives burdens to those he/she knows can cope with them. What a pile
of :poop:.

Wishing you peace and healing for the choice you face.

 

[mamachick]

Albatross,
I totally agree about challenging our beliefs. While it doesn't necessarily pertain to this topic but beliefs in general, one thing I do strongly believe and has brought me some amount of peace is that "all actions of others come from love or fear". Love and fear doesn't exist in the same place. Then I challenge myself-Am I doing this out of love or fear? It keeps me straight in my actions, and in the end I feel better about myself.
This is important to me because so many hurts are created by humans. When people are acting in fear toward me, I try to remember that it is their weakness and that ---""hurt people , hurt people."

We can always chose another belief that works more in our favor. I know that those early developed beliefs are hard to change though, but we can do it.

 

[Innordinate]

I don't really care which God or what God or what higher power etc. Something hates me. Probably same thing that hates you too. Fate. Etc.
Decided to risk the heartattack but did cut it down. Compromising with meds. More nightmares and worse but hopefully not every night now and only a 60% chance of heartattack instead of 80%.
A form of suicide? Mayhaps.
And everyone I know hates my decision completely.
Good thing I don't care about them either.

 

[Deleted member 487]

KP, God doesn't hate you.
Innordinate, no- whatever higher power you beleive in does not hate you.
You only have the odds stacked against you right now.