amanda2282
New Here
I wonder if I am sleeping or just blacked out. My husband says that I wake up sometimes and we get into a fight and I try to hit him and say all kinds of terrible things to him. Then I start hitting walls or throw myself on the floor and talk about suicide and then I just go back to sleep. I don't remember any of this. I trust him and I believe him but it is hard to accept. Also, I have been having trouble sleeping lately and I think it is something called delayed sleep.
Sometimes I fall asleep right away and then wake up five or ten minutes later and can not sleep at all until very late. Last night was the worst. I could not stop thinking about what would happen to my children if something were to happen to the two of us, such as a murder-suicide, which is part of the reason why I have PTSD.
I kept thinking that how would anyone know and how long would my son be in the house by himself with our dead bodies and the five month old baby crying and soaked and hungry. My son is only 2 and a half and she is five months. Then I could not stop thinking about things like could he figure out how to open a window or could someone hear him screaming?
I could not sleep at all. I even thought maybe if it was a murder suicide I should remember to call 911 before I killed myself to make sure my son was ok. I also thought what if someone broke into the house and killed both of us and left the children. I had a nightmare the other night also that a man was trying to break in to my house and I had the babies with me in the closet and when he finally got into the house to kill me it was my husband and I said who are you and he said it does not matter, I am going to kill you now.
Anyways, I wish I could learn what to do to control these sleep problems without having to take some type of medicine. I have seizures too. I woke up the other night after an episode and I felt as if I had a seizure but he said that I was walking around wide awake and screaming and hitting him and spitting at him and threatening to call 911 on him because he was trying to hold the baby.
I know that I need help because what happens if I lose control while I am caring for my children? I really do not understand how it is possible to control this disease. I am going to a neurologist on the 14th because the therapy does not seem to help.
Sometimes I fall asleep right away and then wake up five or ten minutes later and can not sleep at all until very late. Last night was the worst. I could not stop thinking about what would happen to my children if something were to happen to the two of us, such as a murder-suicide, which is part of the reason why I have PTSD.
I kept thinking that how would anyone know and how long would my son be in the house by himself with our dead bodies and the five month old baby crying and soaked and hungry. My son is only 2 and a half and she is five months. Then I could not stop thinking about things like could he figure out how to open a window or could someone hear him screaming?
I could not sleep at all. I even thought maybe if it was a murder suicide I should remember to call 911 before I killed myself to make sure my son was ok. I also thought what if someone broke into the house and killed both of us and left the children. I had a nightmare the other night also that a man was trying to break in to my house and I had the babies with me in the closet and when he finally got into the house to kill me it was my husband and I said who are you and he said it does not matter, I am going to kill you now.
Anyways, I wish I could learn what to do to control these sleep problems without having to take some type of medicine. I have seizures too. I woke up the other night after an episode and I felt as if I had a seizure but he said that I was walking around wide awake and screaming and hitting him and spitting at him and threatening to call 911 on him because he was trying to hold the baby.
I know that I need help because what happens if I lose control while I am caring for my children? I really do not understand how it is possible to control this disease. I am going to a neurologist on the 14th because the therapy does not seem to help.
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