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Small things, great victories. What’s yours?

I realized a Big one, I stood up for myself once about it, and also carried on despite having the shakes after being triggered. Which I didn't notice until someone pointed it out, but then I noticed when it interfered with what I needed to do But the big part was I just said it and also persevered but mostly didn't feel the same toxic-shame-crawl-under-a-rock-feeling as I always do. Even if it is a stupid and annoying and embarrassing/ ridiculous thing.

I guess too I'm pretty cut off from my body.
 
Today I talked to my new GP. I asked for a psych consult to get an official on paper ptsd diagnosis. I was literally dreading it since 3 am this morning, but I pulled through and asked for it. And they had absolutely amazing bedside manner. Legit the most impressive doctor I've come across over the past 20 years.
 
A little one but I've reasonably successfully redirected negative thoughts it feels like a million times in the last week. And been mindful of useful reminders when they've popped up or I've heard them.

ETA I also didn't let a difficult (circumstantially) saturday night play on my entire mind sunday, nor a reasonably unpleasant interaction with a stranger who was very angry. Plus I allowed time on sunday, versus speaking up, which I think was a better choice.
 
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I had therapy today, we talked about the actual trauma that occurred for the first time. I powered through it after wrokng 10 hours over night. I got a call right after that I could go see a doctor later today for a consult for an on paper ptsd diagnosis because of a cancelation. I said yes even after opening up and talking about being sexually and physically abused once today. I went in and literally did the exact same thing to a complete stranger again, same day, while sleep deprived. And I got my diagnosis of PTSD, on paper, on record. I can start trauma centered therapy now. I can go get a medical marijuana card tommorow. I can stop drinking like an idiot now because i will get to deal with shit in person. I chose life today.
 
Cleaned and oiled the wooden furniture in my bedroom. It took a while because I’ve never done it before. I listened to a podcast while I did it. I feel like I am organizing my physical life now. But it’s the opposite of how Jordan Peterson says it. He says “Make your bed and then your life will get in order.” I had to get my life in order then I could make my bed.
 
Freddyt said:
I installed a new wireless router. I know - doesn't sound like much but in our house? 2 Peoples, 2 cats, 20+ internet devices.....

Took a little doing to get everything moved and some devices (light switches etc) wouldn't connect but I figured out why and got it done.
Click to expand...
I can hardly believe it feels like an accomplishment......used to be it would have taken 20 min. and not involved swearing and hitting things. As it is troubleshooting the problems I had seemed to take forever......

Today I got everything cleaned up and registered the warranty. Then I read the manual for the new router (its part of the secret man code - peeking makes it too easy 😄)
 

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