So Embarrassed, I Thought I Was Ready For The Medical Test....

[Bird33]

I had to have an esophageal eclectrophysiologic procedure and I knew it was going to be very difficult. They put a tube down your throat with your gown open in front. I knew it was going to remind me of past events from childhood and beyond. I thought I could do it but as soon as I started gagging I started to panic and I could feel myself going and there was nothing I could do about it.

I don't know exactly what happened. I had a flashback and they brought my husband in and they had him call my therapist. I am so embarrassed and I feel so weak. There was nothing I could do, I could feel myself going. I felt so helpless. I hate that feeling. Now I feel horrible and I keep thinking about what happened. I really thought I could do it but I really couldn't. Is there anything I could do next time?

 

[Poofycat]

I'm so sorry you had that experience! It sounds like even someone without PTSD would find it difficult. I don't have any advice for next time, but please don't feel embarrassed and weak. I think you are strong for making the attempt even though you knew it would be difficult. :hug:

 

[Joan]

so sorry...that sounds horrible. I totally understand the feeling of being embarrassed...feeling bad...but as you said it is beyond your control. Try to be kind to yourself....easier said than done.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Is there any way you could take something for anxiety or be sedated for the procedure? I am not exactly clear what the procedure does. Did the people doing it know you have PTSD? I find it helps calm me down for triggering procedures just to tell them I have PTSD. I also try to focus on something else, but I imagine that is hard to do with a tube being put down your throat. Any grounding items or comfort items that would help? Or having your husband with you? You were brave to try the procedure and it's okay that it didn't go as you planned. You can feel embarrassed and weak, but I don't think that you are weak. And I am sure you aren't the first person to have difficulty with the procedure. I am sure people with out traumatic histories struggle, too. I was told that about something by my own doctor today and that helped me not feel so bad about my reactions.

 

[Friday]

This is a tough one, as certain meds are going to affect the arrhythmia they're trying to diagnose, or will interact with the meds they're trying to see if they'll work on the arrhythmia.

First off, that's what I would ask about: If there's an anxiety med that can be given that doesn't interfere with the testing. If so? Very easy fix. If not? Then one vey serious possibility is that they're just going to have to diagnose it or find meds a different way. There are other tests that can be run. Including an ECG/EKG with a better ultrasound machine than they usually use (far more expensive than the standard one, so there usually has to be "cause" -like panic attacks rendering an esophageal test impossible- in order for insurance to pay for it).

The other pieces, aside from meds, is that there's no reason that your husband cannot be in the room with you, other than patient privacy. Patient is you, so it's your privacy. If you want him there? He can be there. Or anyone else of your choosing. ALSO, while one normally goes braless & in gown? That's just because it's what's easiest for most people. If it's not easiest for you, there are a number of things you can do instead: Wear a wireless / metal free bra (like a bikini that ties, instead of snaps or clips), or a nursing shirt that is loose enough that the ultrasound can me moved around underneath it. You'll probably have to sign something that you won't sue them for staining either with jelly (why gowns are used, to protect patient clothes as well as easy access). If you provide easy access with clothes that can be stained? Voila. No more open at front gown.

Trust me, you are FAR from the only patient to have issues that need to be addressed in order to perform this -and myriad other- tests. Trauma, Autism Spectrum, Sensory Processing Disorder, Children, Injuries, Religion, Allergies (some people are deathly allergic to the jelly!)... There are dozens of reasons -both medical and moral- that create situations that need to be handled in order for a test to be performed. Now that you KNOW there are issues that need to be addressed? You can address them :) A great cardio office? Will be well used to these issues, and be more than willing to come at the problem in a way that helps you. A crappy one won't be, but you don't want a crappy cardiologist anyway :p

 

[Bird33]

@Poofycat thank you I thought I had planned well.

I have been avoiding the doctors but I had a heart attack about 1 1/2 years ago and had stents put in and I have been having problems since. I have a device implanted and I have to have several tests coming up. I have scars on my chest from my grandfather so I have a difficult time talking about things before and I tend to freeze and not say anything.

@Joan yes your right easier said than done!

@JEKBreatheandBelieve i did not tell them before. I really don't like others to know. I know kind of stupid because now they surely know. I couldn't be sedated because of what the test was for. @FridayJones was right they are looking for an arrhythmia. I don't take any meds because of a long ago experience and I am afraid to take anything now. It is a control thing. Again obviously I didn't have control. That scares me the most, not having control. I try to have it all the time.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Having had Endoscopic surgery only a few months ago I really do know how this has affected you. I may be male but I was raped repeatedly for over 5 years as a young boy, having any kind of "oscopy" scares the shit out of me.

I send huge :hug:s from the UK if you accept.

 

[EveHarrington]

A small dose of Xanax or Ativan is out of the question? It's not a sedative per se------

:hug:

 

[Bird33]

@Mr Laurie thank you I do accept and I am so sorry, you do understand and I am so sorry that you really do. I was doing okay and then I started to gag and I panicked.

@EveHarrington for these tests they are looking at my heart so they want it to be responsive like it normally is so I can't really take anything.

 

[EveHarrington]

Oh ok I understand. Yes, benzos can indeed effect heart rate, in either direction.