So Hard To Get Out Of The Safety Of My Bed And Get Motivated

[ragdoll]

My current tasks after 10 months of therapy is to go back to focusing on the basics at home and self care.

Most days are beautiful weather wise at this time of the year where I live. I struggle everyday to push myself to get out of bed and enjoy the beauty of the world and the joy of my wonderful family.

I feel constant fear. I'm daunted and afraid by everyday house tasks and noises. It's as if I have this shadow of darkness lurking over my every move. I feel breathless and tire easily. I find myself becoming overwhelmed with this feeling of helplessness and can become quite saddened by it all.
My T thinks I'm in constant fight and flight mode hence the tiredness.

I try grounding and mindfullness techniques learnt in therapy but I still can't get past this feeling. I try to focus on achieving obtainable results and don't push myself too much - dishes, washing, general tidy up. I love gardening but find this to overwheming to contemplate. I've had some success with hubby and kids outside with me. It's scary out there!

In a few weeks I will be doing EMDR and hoping this will help. Until then, has anybody else out there struggled with these types of feelings and managed a way to overcome them. How do you get back to BOUNCING out of bed?

Any suggestions will be welcomed with opened arms. xxxxx

 

[caliaviator]

I have felt a lack of motivation when it comes to getting out of the bed too. It's like the more I'm in bed the less crap I have to deal with. Typically what gets me out of bed is either getting angry, or having an appointment of some sort. If I have an appointment that means that I gave my word to be there, and I HAVE to follow through. Try making an appointment such as "I'm gonna spend time with my husband and kids because they need me" or "I need to do this because it's necessary" and you might feel motivated enough to get out of bed. Worked for me for the most part, I hope it helps :)

 

[ragdoll]

Thanks caliaviator for your words of wisdom.....It's true about feeling like there is less crap to deal within bed . I like the appointment idea with the family. I tried to have my morning cuppa with them but the morning hustle & bustle noises got to me. Hubby ususally brings in the cuppa. Avoidance, I know but it's so nice being spoilt like that.
Will work on a morning time appointment of some sort . ie one with the shower ground myself etc and then attempt the crazy morning cuddles and talks.
Thanks again xxxxx

 

[caliaviator]

No problem ragdoll :) Let me know how it works out for you!

 

[ragdoll]

will do.............:tup:

 

[ragdoll]

No problem ragdoll :) Let me know how it works out for you!

Hi caliaviator. I was having trouble with making "the appointments".
I mentioned to my T your suggestion and she thought it was a great idea. We had to figure out why it was such a hard thing for me to master - considering I used to be a stickler for being on time & being super focused! (PTSD triggers stripping me of this of course.)
We discovered I assocciate the morning shower and getting kids organised with work and this sends of triggers etc. Hence the avoidance and the fear while I lay in bed putting it off and then fear continuing throughout the day.
My PTSD was diagnosed after several work place incidents and other childhood factors.

The focus now is to change the "appointment" to being at my "new work place" - HOME.
I had to set a reasonable time to commence my new job. I would need to be showered, fed, helping the kids with the morning routine and to commence "work" at approx. 9am.
My husband became involved as he felt I was growing more and more distant from him, the family and life itself. So we came up with the job criteria together:
*20 mins watering garden & pottering about with dog
*10 mins quiet cuppa and fruit
*1 hr of housework - dishes, beds, washing etc. Taking short breaks in between.
* 30 mins "morning tea for the soul" - mindfulness/breathing etc
* 30 mins checking emails/mail and ring a friend
* 30 mins part prepare tea.

I managed and it feels so good!!! It doesn't have to be a strict routine but something to focus on rather than feeding my fears and it also helps by facing those morning triggers. I felt I was contributing to the running of the household more than I have in such a long time. Hubby and kids help alot.
Hopefully in the future I can change a couple of things. ie - ring a friend to visit a friend or get out of the house and go down town, exercise etc. I'm quite a reclusive at the moment.

When comfortable with the morning job we will look at the afternoon job criteria between 12 and 3 before the kids get home.

Thank you for your simple suggestion and giving me the opportunity to discuss this with my T. I am grateful for your input and for the Forum providing opportunities such as this. Hoping my situation may help others out there.
Warmest thoughts xxxxx

 

[AngelaMarie]

It is so very hard to overcome the feelings you are dealing with. For a very long time, actually years, I had a hard time leaving my room because I felt so overwhelmed. For some reason (the forum also I think) I left my room and started living again. I can't even go back in my bedroom anymore because I remember the pain of isolation. Give yourself a little time and take it slowly. You can overcome it. I know you can because I have lived it and am learning to overcome. Now I am constantly with my family. I am glad when I have moments alone, like today when my boys are in school and my husband is at work. Then I have time to have no noise. My neighborhood is quiet and it gives me a chance to rest in my head so when they come back I am able to deal with the noise and the busy feeling.

I truly wish you the best and hope that you feel stronger soon.:)

 

[ragdoll]

I had to set a reasonable time to commence my new job. I would need to be showered, fed, helping the kids with the morning routine and to commence "work" at approx. 9am

Who was I fooling!!!! :poop: I would be sacked by now! First day was great. Went spiralling after that. Pressure of a routine, too many triggers, too tired, too many dreams???? Who knows why.

Give yourself a little time and take it slowly.

Thanks AngelaMarie, One step at a time is what it will have to be. It's just so friggin frustrating, I want to "walk" again. Stride into enjoying life again.
Back to basics. Think I'll have to do the "morning job criteria" over the day while kids are at school. More manageable???? Won't give up.;)

 

[caliaviator]

Who was I fooling!!!! :poop: I would be sacked by now! First day was great. Went spiralling after that. Pressure of a routine, too many triggers, too tired, too many dreams????

Back to basics. Think I'll have to do the "morning job criteria" over the day while kids are at school. More manageable???? Won't give up.;)

Never quit ragdoll *hugs* there is nothing ever wrong with starting from the ground up. Start small and then do a little more each time you feel comfortable. Keep us updated :)

 

[Kaii]

Ragdoll,

I don't have any words of wisdom for you as I have the same problem as you. I don't leave my bed until it is time to pick up my children from school. I feel grateful for that one task that I absolutely HAVE TO DO, because it forces me to get up out of bed. Otherwise I'm sure I would stay there all day :(

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and that I am walking this long road with you.

Thinking of you,
Kaii

 

[mamachick]

No words of wisdom here. My kids are grown and I love my bed. If I had a refrigerator there would be no need for the rest of the house. Its the only place that I really feel safe. I do have to take my dogs out and take care of them and I know that is a good thing, especially with better weather, we do spend more time outside.
Relating to you too

 

[TCEE]

I just recently started slowly getting out of bed again. It's almost an impossible feeling to describe to people - how safe it is, how virtually impossible it is to get out of bed. Honestly, it's nothing I did - I think my brain chemistry changed just enough for me to do it. Given the choice, I'll stay there collaging, blogging, emailing etc. I love my bed. I love that people seem to understand that here!