General So How Do You Guys Think About Trigger Warnings And Safe Spaces?

[Deleted member 541]

Personally, I think this whole subject is just plain stupid. JMHO!

 

[Socha]

I'm really curious, I swear!

Can I ask if you frequent Tumblr?

I do. I haven't come across any trigger warnings yet... But maybe that's because I search Tumblr for porn :giggle:

 

[Neverthesame]

I know of the Tumblr thing through Reddit. Though I don't know how exaggerated it is from what is actually on Tumblr, as I never go there.

Not even for the porn. Lol

 

[greenleaf]

The term man spreading is used for sitting with legs apart in public transportation (taking up more space than with legs crossed) and some feminists feel (sexually) offended. ;)

It can be very blatantly a dominance display and cause problems for other people on the subway or wherever. When several people are having to stand while the train sways around, while said male takes up space that could hold several polite, more self-contained people -- with his arms out on the seats around him and his legs splayed so everyone can see (what?) -- it's more an example from my old animal behavior ecology classes than my feminist theory classes!

People who've been abused can be very sensitive to these alpha-dominance type behaviors. Police and other similar professionals have to use that same kind of sensitivity to stay safe on the job. "Man-spreading" is one incarnation of individuals infringing on others subtly. (Though someone making elderly and others stand for long periods so one's genitals have sufficient space to be properly respected, does not feel subtle if you are there. Typically the attitude of the person shows you might be in danger if you ask them to move, so if you're not police, "tough"?)

Once you've seen really blatant examples of this behavior, you sometimes see more subtle examples in more "polite" circumstances, and your gut can give you the same sense. Is it "real"? Trusting one's gut feelings about these dominance behaviors can keep one safer; one can never totally prove what's happening though.

So, why attack (theoretical?) "feminists" for talking about some of this, they may be trying to make academic theories out of this mess? Every other aspect of our human experience gets made into an academic theory of some sort!

 

[EveHarrington]

Ohhhhh.

#cityproblems !!!

No wonder I don't understand the big deal. Lol.

 

[MisterCatLady]

What many people hear when they hear the words "trigger warning" is a millennial whining about getting her feelings hurt. I don't think even half of that community realizes that trigger warnings are for people who have experienced traumatic events. I had to explain that concept to my best friend and because of me she was already very familiar with the ins and outs of PTSD.

 

[Socha]

I might not understand the topic fully as I am from Germany. Our trains don't sway around so that people who are afraid to ask if they could take the seat would be in any kind of danger. They would also not be in danger if they'd ask. We have strict gun laws too. Here, the nice man spreading guys are the one who should be afraid of old German ladys with a walking stick because if they can't sit down they don't call the police they take matters into their own hands with their cane because canes are not covered by gun laws.
I know all the points and argumentations about the topic and I won't discuss it any further. For every paper and study that is out there, there is also one that argues against it and I did my homework ;)

People who went through abuse and/or have PTSD can be sensitive about some things due to the trauma they experienced. I've been there myself but I can't expect the whole world to act acordingly to my issues. To realize this was a major step in getting better.

 

[ms spock]

Never heard of microaggression. What country does that originate from?

I grew up hearing nothing but how service men were/are effected by war. No one else's PTSD matters or really exists.

Just because I was raped for 15 years by my Vietnam Veteran Father doesn't mean I have anything to complain about.

Where are these safe spaces for women? I didn't grow up with any available to me.

Which types of Feminism is a problem for people? Concrete example please without media based rubbish.

I live in Australia where a women a week gets her picture on the news for being killed from domestic violence but we don't know the tall numbers of deaths because it is not considered tho be important enough to track accurately. 1 in 3 women well live with domestic violence in their lifetime. Each and every time my sister drops off her kids tho her ex we aren't sure if she will come back alive. We are never certain if her kids will come back alive either that matter.

Can I see the connection between my continued experiences of my rape, degradation and humiliation to the sexism of Australian culture? You bet I can.

Do threads like this which minimise the daily work that I do to challenge the sexism of Australian culture to ensure the next generation does not have to live with what I live/lived with really puss me off. You bet you. Get educated. Find out the facts. In Australia 62% of the homicides happen to a woman in the six months of learning their partner.

I currently don't have a safe space to live in. It's this totally f*cking with my PTSD symptoms. Hell yes!

Put on your big girl panties and get educated about the reality of the way in which sexism is the underpinnings of so much abuse and violence towards women. Don't discuss your problems with what type of imagined Feminism you arehave a problem with - get specific and don't quote your imagined problems of a type of Feminism that you haven't even read. That is totally pathetic in my opinion. I have read some utter crap on this forum but this really takes the cake of ignorant, misinformed, self indulgent BS. If you have a safe space to be in, have some gratitude for the privilege that you have and let the rest of its get on with the tough work of finding or creating safe, spaces for our selves and others and the next generation. I will be sure to post on the forum the next domestic violence death that I see. That reality might wake you up to why the discussions that are going on are going on.

By the way porn is often debasing off women so it turns your discussion in to a real farce and a joke - the feminists (whoever they really are but you all seem to have little idea of who the feminists are, what they stand for our even which type of Feminism they stand up for) but hey we can make a joke about without even the slightest awareness of the problematic nature of pornography. As a child I had porn enacted it on me. It is no laughing matter.

In Australia 1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused before the turn 16. Do these girls and then women have no right to deconstruct the rape culture that had brought them theses lived experiences of being sexually abused and raped. Dos a young woman pregnant to her Father have no right to discuss what is a trigger to her. Just because you don't understand something dis not mean it is some Millenials complaint about nothing. Fire me the topic of the thread is purple complaining about nothing. How does it hurt you that the 1 in 4 child rape survivors discuss potentially getting some safe spaces in any way encroach on you.

So great to read victim blaming and minimising of violence and rape against women and children / end sarcasm.

This debate had the aspirations of a gnat.

 

[greenleaf]

I might not understand the topic fully as I am from Germany. Our trains don't sway around so that people...

Very, very different culture on the German trains! :-)

Not expecting the world to conform to one's internal needs (including PTSD stuff) is reasonable in many cases and one does have to work hard at that, lots of responsibility issues. However there are also a lot of abusive or otherwise problematic behaviors going on out there by a lot of people in everyday life, and the social rules can differ for different groups of people. Lots of grey areas. Lots of injustice. It can be a matter of perspective about who is being infringed upon "more", lots of conflicts in such discussions.

 

[EveHarrington]

Imagined feminism?

It is NOT imagined!

I have a few examples of my own but given how vocal I am about certain "feminists" who hijack the cause, I won't start here. God only knows it would be an easy way to identify my account by someone who knows me.

Yes I believe in equal rights for women but I'm not so blind as to believe the entire feminist movement is holier than thou. There are some pretty dark facets of the feminist culture which are very man-hating amongst other things. I won't paint all feminism with a pure white brush.

 

[ms spock]

Same thing for people who 'feel raped' because their partner changed position while having sex without asking first. There is a special term for that too but I forgot it. I tend to forget non-sense pretty quick. ;)

Are you serious?

You don't even understand that sex is consensual? Rape is not getting consent?

So some one straddling you changes postions and shoves a dildo up your anus - are you telling me that is okay with you, even if that has never happened before in your sexual activity?

There are a lot of good videos on YouTube that have been made for American college students - go and have a look.

When I was at law school we aren't through the legal definition of rape, and it is scary to me that you don't even understand the basics. It is attitudes like these that contribute to rape culture.

This while, thread illustrates clearly why the discussions that the opening poster is critical of its crucial to be in public discourse! So ignorant peoe can be informed!

I never thought that I would read totally BS on this forum.

 

[EveHarrington]

I gotta say that spontaneity in sex is what makes it fun.

If a guy had to ask me if he could do every. Little. Thing. -----then damn, sex would suck so bad.