General So How Do You Guys Think About Trigger Warnings And Safe Spaces?

[Never_falter2]

How do you feel about the ongoing discussion about trigger warnings, microagression, safe spaces for women and so on?

I don't know why but this discussion makes me really angry... so angry I feel I want to punch someone's face and here is why:

Like most women I have been subjected to various forms of microagression, for example I do remember a guy telling me that women should not be allowed to park a car because of their poor special judgement and another guy telling me that women "always cry over everything". Just two things that jump to my mind.

Not very nice... but still I don't think it is traumatic. It does not meet the criterion and I hate it when people use the work traumatic for things that are actually not.

I noticed that men who experienced trauma often don't make a fuss about it. There is more discussion about the trauma of being called unable to do maths because you are a girl than we hear about the traumas of our soldiers or firefighters or policemen, our medical personal, the many people who got injured in accidents ands on. To my mind this is plain wrong because the services for those groups are lacking while so much effort and money is put into talking about microagression.

Triggers are different for everybody but I noticed that some very common trigger like crowds or fireworks do get very little attention while other triggers get a lot more attention. I don't think it will ever be possible to create a trigger free safe zone because everybody's triggers are different.

So typically I fancy myself a feminist but I think that this is just unfair and anti male. My guy used have great problems with crowds but I never heard of somebody trying to create less crowded spaces (less crowded public transport, spaces where people with those kind of issues don't have to line in and so on).
This fear of crowds had a negative impact on both his life and mine.
Men are not that verbal about this kind of stuff and so few people know.

I am a bit lost for words. I cannot even explain why I think it is so insulting but I think it is very insulting, anti male and plain wrong.

Is it wrong to feel like this?

 

[Socha]

I never even heard about microagression before. To me it sounds like a topic that belongs in the same category as man sprading.
I avoid discussions about man spreading, microagression, trigger warnings and anti male feminist discussions... My approach to people who say things like "you can't because you're a girl" is "I can and I will! Watch me!". Either that or I just shrug my shoulders because phrases that start with "you can't..." are a reflection of the speakers own limitations, not mine and I don't have to prove anything to anyone.
I'm a big believer in equality though, so feminism in the form it is practiced by many is not for me.

Safe spaces for everyone! Wheee!

 

[Neverthesame]

@Socha I believe the microagression thing has been around since the 70's. Though I also only learned of it recently as well.

 

[Never_falter2]

So let me explain microagression then. When a man hates women and attacks them on the street, punches them, hits women and so on that would be MACROagression and everybody is opposed to that.

MICROagression on the other hand is a small form of agression and can even be a question or a friendly remark. If a man ask a women "is this book about technics you are buying for your husband or your brother?" or if he says "I do not understand why you want to go to college. After all you look nice and there sure is a man who wants to marry you". That would be microagression.

Has it been around since the 70s? I just learned about it but then I wasn't even born in the 1970s.

What is man spreading?

 

[EveHarrington]

So let me explain microagression than. When a man hates women and attacks them on the street, punc...

Can you edit?

You defined microagression twice in opposing terms.

Edit-----THANKS!

 

[Riot]

Let me Google that for you...

 

[Neverthesame]

Man spreading is if I sit with my legs splayed open in a public place.
This includes while wearing trousers and supportive underwear.

It is interpreted as being a sign of male dominant behaviour, as opposed to a posture that doesn't crush ones reproductive organs.

 

[Socha]

The term is self-explanatory, so I knew what it refers to but I never heard of it before. Sorry for the confusion.
The term man spreading is used for sitting with legs apart in public transportation (taking up more space than with legs crossed) and some feminists feel (sexually) offended. Those things bother me too because I've been through real abuse and I can't stand hearing people whine about non-sense. Same thing for people who 'feel raped' because their partner changed position while having sex without asking first. There is a special term for that too but I forgot it. I tend to forget non-sense pretty quick. ;)

 

[Gs172003]

There's always going to be stuff in this world that we don't like. People will say mean things and things will happen that will upset us. We can't be shielded from them all.

 

[Gs172003]

The term is self-explanatory, so I knew what it refers to but I never heard of it before. Sorry for the c...

Wait...what?? These are real things???

Oh. My. Lord.

 

[Socha]

Is it wrong to feel like this?

Feelings are never 'wrong' ;) There are just different ways to look at things.

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm really curious, I swear!

Can I ask if you frequent Tumblr?

I don't go there, but I heard the feminist community there is rampant, pushing things like "trigger warnings for red ice cream!" and such. Ok that was a slight exaggeration but Tumblr is indeed at the forefront of the movement of screaming "trigger" for things that are merely slightly annoying. Hoo-boy.

Trigger warnings for college classes, trigger warnings for clapping (yes, clapping), trigger warnings for anything and everything that doesn't make you feel warm and fuzzy.

The problem I see?

Trigger warnings are an impediment to free, clear, and open speech. We should be talking about all those bad things. Merely labeling them as bad and shying away does absolutely nothing for progress.

So what I want to ask those who declare themselves to be feminists yet want trigger warnings on everything------do you realize you're actually taking the movement backwards? Squash free speech and misinformation abounds. We cannot solve the rape and sexual abuse epidemic if we simply cannot talk about it!

So put on your big girl panties, work through those personal triggers, and rejoin the rest of the world! I have personal triggers that cause me to lose touch with reality but I'm not so selfishly brazen as to demand that the rest of the world bows down to make me happy.

<gets off soap box>