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Adm
usually I'm posting on here for advice and help. I seen a side of my sufferer yesterday that absolutely overjoyed me!
My sufferer generally has little or no desire to deal with filling of forms, appointments, mail or bills.. any things like that.
We are in Uk and have a system for disability or care needs as to where you can gain money in a form of benefit to help with your needs. To cut a long story short it's a hell of a process. My partner was renewing his claim You have to fill in a 30 page booklet, only to be refused when he genuinely deserves it and he has been given it for 3 years prior!! Me being the little fighter that I am encouraged him to fight it and push it to go to tribunal. Which may I add is a very common thing.. which leads me to Friday...Appointment day!
As some sufferers or supporters may be able to relate to.. We had our pep talk starting from Wednesday preparing him, not to worry, that these people aren't judgemental that it was their job, he wasn't going to see them ever again etc .. you know the drill!!
Friday comes, we had the I'm not going, yes we are scenario... the delay tactics.. the sweaty palm car journey, the usual... after everything he found it in him to attend.. we got there hand in hand! He knows I have his back.. plus he's sussed out at least 2 exits before I had even signed us in the building.
We went aided with a tribunal rep who was so supportive and gave us a heads up on how it was 'casual, roughly 30 minute conversation
On what was disclosed in the form and questions they wanted more information. At this stage I'm quietly confident. We're getting through it.. here on time! All going well!
So.. we walk in ..
to a huge boardroom with a huge table. 3 seats along one side, 3 along the other. Instantly his sweaty palms turned to sweating profusely! I knew he was struggling we sat down and began! His breath was getting faster and I could almost see his heart beating out of his chest!
This 'casual chat', was in fact a one hour and 15 minute meeting where a physio, a GP and a lawyer basically ripped my sufferer a new asshole! So much so I actually interrupted when I seen him struggling! To be told "don't interrupt, you'll get your chance to speak at the end"
They sat there and degraded him. The sweat rolled off his nose and hit the table at one stage! They sat there asking him ridiculously personal questions to explain why he felt it so hard to prepare raw meat .. to explain if it was the texture or the smell or the thought!
They sat there re traumatising him without a notion of how he was feeling! Bombarded him with questions for a full 75 minutes!
I felt so overwhelmed that they were doing this to him! Why wasn't there a professional in the mental health team there to ask him those kind of questions!!!
But from somewhere he plucked the courage not to stand up and just run out of there!
I am so immensely proud of him!
I seen a side to my sufferer that made me beam!! Although he struggled and at points reduced him to tears! He done it!!!! It reminded me of how strong he really is!!! He done himself so proud and even if they come back to him and refuse it, the fact he managed to attend and sit through something so difficult was enough for me !
As for the hearing I'm filing a complaint on Monday morning whatever the outcome of that meeting! Perhaps then another sufferer of any mental illness won't be treated that way!! I was disgusted and ashamed At their line of questioning.. you look pretty normal, you look pretty healthy... as if he was telling lies.. suggesting if he couldn't handle meat himself to 'consider becoming a vegetarian'
Being asked over and over 'if you can physically walk out of your home, what's stopping you getting up and going out' by a physio who has zero experience with PTSD or clinical depression!!!
Anyway this is a shoutout to the sufferers, you ARE strong!!! And all us supporters are so proud of any progress you make. Even if it's baby steps!!!!!
Sorry for babbling and thanks for reading!
Love, one super Proud supporter! X
My sufferer generally has little or no desire to deal with filling of forms, appointments, mail or bills.. any things like that.
We are in Uk and have a system for disability or care needs as to where you can gain money in a form of benefit to help with your needs. To cut a long story short it's a hell of a process. My partner was renewing his claim You have to fill in a 30 page booklet, only to be refused when he genuinely deserves it and he has been given it for 3 years prior!! Me being the little fighter that I am encouraged him to fight it and push it to go to tribunal. Which may I add is a very common thing.. which leads me to Friday...Appointment day!
As some sufferers or supporters may be able to relate to.. We had our pep talk starting from Wednesday preparing him, not to worry, that these people aren't judgemental that it was their job, he wasn't going to see them ever again etc .. you know the drill!!
Friday comes, we had the I'm not going, yes we are scenario... the delay tactics.. the sweaty palm car journey, the usual... after everything he found it in him to attend.. we got there hand in hand! He knows I have his back.. plus he's sussed out at least 2 exits before I had even signed us in the building.
We went aided with a tribunal rep who was so supportive and gave us a heads up on how it was 'casual, roughly 30 minute conversation
On what was disclosed in the form and questions they wanted more information. At this stage I'm quietly confident. We're getting through it.. here on time! All going well!
So.. we walk in ..
to a huge boardroom with a huge table. 3 seats along one side, 3 along the other. Instantly his sweaty palms turned to sweating profusely! I knew he was struggling we sat down and began! His breath was getting faster and I could almost see his heart beating out of his chest!
This 'casual chat', was in fact a one hour and 15 minute meeting where a physio, a GP and a lawyer basically ripped my sufferer a new asshole! So much so I actually interrupted when I seen him struggling! To be told "don't interrupt, you'll get your chance to speak at the end"
They sat there and degraded him. The sweat rolled off his nose and hit the table at one stage! They sat there asking him ridiculously personal questions to explain why he felt it so hard to prepare raw meat .. to explain if it was the texture or the smell or the thought!
They sat there re traumatising him without a notion of how he was feeling! Bombarded him with questions for a full 75 minutes!
I felt so overwhelmed that they were doing this to him! Why wasn't there a professional in the mental health team there to ask him those kind of questions!!!
But from somewhere he plucked the courage not to stand up and just run out of there!
I am so immensely proud of him!
I seen a side to my sufferer that made me beam!! Although he struggled and at points reduced him to tears! He done it!!!! It reminded me of how strong he really is!!! He done himself so proud and even if they come back to him and refuse it, the fact he managed to attend and sit through something so difficult was enough for me !
As for the hearing I'm filing a complaint on Monday morning whatever the outcome of that meeting! Perhaps then another sufferer of any mental illness won't be treated that way!! I was disgusted and ashamed At their line of questioning.. you look pretty normal, you look pretty healthy... as if he was telling lies.. suggesting if he couldn't handle meat himself to 'consider becoming a vegetarian'
Being asked over and over 'if you can physically walk out of your home, what's stopping you getting up and going out' by a physio who has zero experience with PTSD or clinical depression!!!
Anyway this is a shoutout to the sufferers, you ARE strong!!! And all us supporters are so proud of any progress you make. Even if it's baby steps!!!!!
Sorry for babbling and thanks for reading!
Love, one super Proud supporter! X
