So Sad

[thinlizzy4010]

I am sad tonight. So very sad, and very sad and angry at being sad, still? or yet again.
Hubbys at work, kids are in bed (bar 1). I am lonely and sad and cannot do anything about it.
Not many people know about my Cptsd, depression and anxiety, so I don't really have anyone to get comfort from. The people I have told aren't any help and wouldn't really understand anyway. Why don't people understand that it doesn't go away. None of it goes away. New issues just bring the old ones back. Do the psychologists really think my world is good just because in that half hour I don't speak of my battles? My shoulders are so sore from carrying my world on it. I am getting tired of this and will click "create" before i just "delete" and continue to sit unknown.

 

[Bumble-Bee18]

I know what you mean, as much as you try and explain how your feeling to people who dont suffer from ptsd they never get it they just dont realise how serious it is. I always feel like it will never go away, I think about my accident everyday atleast ten times a day. The meds stopped me crying but now I feel slightly empty?! That sounds dramatic but thats the only word I can think of using. Maybe your therapist just wants you to be proud of all the progress? no matter how little? x

 

[heidi]

My mom just doesn't understand why my therapy isn't working. She thinks there must be something wrong with my therapist. As if getting fixed is just that easy. People just don't understand what they haven't experienced. The fact that they think they do (when they don't) can be terribly upsetting and annoying. It sucks you have to sit alone and not get or feel understanding. I sometimes think of how..I've heard anyway...I have no experience here...that when kids are feeling upset the best thing to do is physically get down to their level and acknowledge that it's hard for them. Just the idea that validating and understanding are something that sooth in and of itself.

And I think we don't stop needing that. And it's hard in this case because your right people who don't have experience are not going to be able to understand. And a psychologist doesn't understand what is going on in your head more then you do.

 

[thinlizzy4010]

Morning, Thanks for your replies. They really do matter, it shows I am not alone. I find that I just get to the point where it is all too overwhelming and there's nothing left to do but cry. I have always swallowed my tears, swallowed my sadness. Gritted my teethe and got on with it. obviously people ask too many question when they see you crying. I am sure they really couldn't handle my reasons why, so I don't share, or I makeup something small to explain it away.
I just want to be oblivious to it all. sigh, Ignorance it seems could really be bliss. I am hoping today will be better, but I still feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat. I am going to go put some makeup on, and think of someway to get out and forget about it, and push things as hard as I can to the back of my mind.

 

[Bumble-Bee18]

I know it feels right to avoid it but you do realise that's what we do? We have avoidance symptons that vary from talking about it and thinking about it to (in my case) avoiding things to do with what caused it in the first place eg cars for me.. Maybe you need to cry it out! Bottling things up isn't good for you I really think it best you confront it x

 

[heidi]

for some reason I'm having major post regret today.
Since I don't know you, I don't want to say the wrong thing.

 

[NutritionNerd]

My therapist thinks crying is a good thing - in fact he provides several pages of instructions just for crying. His rationale is that we are sad - that denying being sad and fighting being sad cause us a lot of problems. He makes an analogy of trying to hold an inflated balloon under water as being what it is like when you try to keep from being sad.

Instead he says you should let yourself cry - quit fighting it and focus on how your body is feeling rather than making up stories or otherwise feeding the sadness by getting angry. Let yourself be sad and cry. Sometimes I am sad and don't know why and I just cry anyway. Eventually you stop crying and feel better. The key to effective crying is to just let it happen and don't consciously try to control it or feed it.

I believe it also helps physically since excess cortisol is released via tears.