So Two Weeks After I Get Dumped I Buy Her A Car

[The Hermit King]

Well I went through a phase of hard drinking for awhile since I first posted back in October of last year. She finally moved out on January 1st and I freakin broke down it was so horrible. I thought I was prepared for it since technically we broke up in early October but I wasn't prepared at all. All I was doing was drinking, eating,or sleeping. If I wasn't doing that I was locked back in my bedroom watching shows on Netflix. I couldn't even play my video games and that is saying a whole lot.

I seemed to have snapped out of it now and have resumed my normal routines. I started waking up early again and exercising again. I'm trying to get back into reading regularly too but its hard to concentrate still. I have still been taking care of her though financially even though she has moved out. I don't really know when or where to draw the line. I paid her first months rent just so she could move out finally and now it looks like she will need me to not only do that again but also make her car and insurance payment this month. I just let her come down and raid my groceries for a bunch of food because she didn't have any too.

She really is trying but she works as a waitress/bar tender and people have not been tipping her for shit. I still feel responsible for her and I don't want her to lose her vehicle or be out of a place to live. I told her that things could not go on like this indefinitely, that at some point, one day I would find someone and that I could not still be supporting an ex-girlfriend. She texted me the other day and said its scary without out me. Ugh. I am the type of guy that needs someone to take care of I guess. Turns out if I could have just opened up to her family and gotten closer to her kids she would have never left me. Too late now and I don't want to go backwards now even if she wanted to try again. Ill just try and learn from all this.

Anyway I guess I just needed to get all that out. :dead:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I think you need to cut her loose to sink or swim on her own. I know this sounds cold hearted, but she is taking advantage of your good nature. I understand you need someone to take care of. Where is her family? They are the ones she should be going to for help. Not you. I am sorry you are still going through this bad experience. My heart goes out to you.

You deserve better than this.

 

[99Phoenix99]

I have to agree with Gizmo on all counts.

But I also have to say that's much easier said then done. You're obviously very kind, although maybe to a fault. I'm not trying to be mean because honestly I have that problem too. I give and really expect nothing in return. What I'm trying to say is... you need to protect yourself. I think I said this before, but you need to take care of you.

It's not fair what she's putting you through. It's one thing to break up with you. It's another to be financially leaning on you. But emotionally dependant on you? Sending you texts like that? Still after all this time? That's cruel on her part. She's having issues letting go of you because she's not used to being on her own. She said it herself. And while that's upsetting and scary ... that's life. She's an adult and she can handle it. She made her decision and now she needs to deal with it. Bless you for dealing with that.

Maybe I'm coming off harsh. I'm sorry if I am but I dislike it when I see someone being emotionally taken advantage of like this.

My only suggestion for the financial ... maybe you can set an end date with her. Say I will help you till this certain date but after that you're on your own. That way it's not leaving her high and dry and allowing you a way to help her out but eventually letting you go your seperate ways.

I'm glad you're getting back into a routine, that's a difficult thing to do. But what's also great is that you are thinking about the future and finding someone else. That's amazing and something I really respect.

 

[The Hermit King]

Thank all of you for sharing your thoughts with me on this whole thing. I truly appreciate it.