- Thread starter
- #61
barefoot
MyPTSD Pro
Hard as it is, if something happened to her - she became ill, had a bereavent or couldn't work you wouldn't have any time to get used to leaving her, sessions would end and you might not have any closure. And you'd cope,
I know this is right. But, I'm not in that situation here. She isn't now in an emergency situation that is beyond anyone's control. This is a situation that she could be choosing to manage differently. And I think that's one of the things that's so upsetting in all this. That she just seems to be adding to the stress when she could be working with me to ease it.
Reassuring me on Wednesday that we will discuss a new fee arrangement that works for both of us before I have surgery so that I know what I'm doing and won't need to worry and then emailing me two days later saying it will be £100 a session (when I told her on Wednesday that £80 was too much)...she can control that and is choosing to fire off that email and leave me with that information for the next few days.
I don't understand why she would do that. And I guess I need to stop trying to understand because it's not going to get me anywhere and is just going to make me feel more stressed.
But I undersatnd the point you're making.
I'm not actually sure that I have achieved very much in the last few months. I feel like I've been going to therapy every week but that "proper" therapeutic work has been somewhat on hold because things have felt so precarious. I've been thinking that once we've sorted out fees for the future, I can settle back down and get stuck into the work again. So, I haven't really been "going there" all out and now feel like that was a mistake.